This was just a little drabble that popped into my head today whilst I was supposed to be doing my job and creating statistics. For those who actually know the series this happens well before all of the Mulder and Scully going on the run as fugitives nonsense... if you are nice to me I may continue and right another installment...


Fox Mulder was not having a very good morning. In fact, if you were to ask him, he would tell you that he was having the morning from hell. Not only had he, a man famed within the bureau for his chronic insomnia, managed to sleep through his alarm clock, but he had then proceeded to tear one of his contact lenses as he was putting them in for the day, had burned his left hand on the iron as he quickly pressed the blue shirt that he was now wearing and then had spent over an hour trying to battle the rush hour traffic that he normally managed to avoid as a result of his workaholic tendencies. Arriving at the office two hours later than he usually did, he had just ten minutes in which to grab a cup of coffee and the files he needed for the nine o'clock meeting that Skinner had called to discuss the budget implications that had arisen as a result of the latest congressional spending reviews, but first, what he really needed, above anything else, was a tissue.

HATSCHUMHH he sneezed violently as he walked into his basement office. "You're late", he heard Scully say accusingly as he headed over to his desk, dropped down into his chair and grabbed at the box of tissues precariously perched atop the mountain of paperwork that had accumulated from their most recent cases. "I know, I ovuhhh, uhhhh, I overslehhh ETSCHUMMMPH ETSCHOOO ETSCHHHT, I overslept" he finally managed to say as the sneezes erupted from him. Grabbing one of the tissues he raised them to his nose just in time to catch another sneeze HNGXXT.

"Jesus Mulder! Your not getting sick are you?" Scully asked, getting up from the desk that she had finally managed to obtain after six years of working on the X-Files. She quickly negotiated the cluttered office floor, all the time looking at her partner and assessing him critically with her medically trained eyes.

"No, I'm fuhhh fuhhhSCHMPTH fine. Its just turning into one of those mohhh uhh mornings" he replied before stifling four more sneezes into the tissues and then blowing his nose. "I overslept, then I ripped my contacts, burnt my hand on the fucking iron and to top it all of, in my rush to get here in time for the meeting I forgot to take my antihistamines. I've been sneezing my head off since I stepped outside of my apartment block this morning. My fucking eyes are killing me, and I fuhhh huuuh HETSCHMPHH, I fucking hate spring".

Scully laughed gently as she took in the pathetic picture that her usually impecabbly turned out and suave partner now presented. He was a mess. His eyes, normally bright and alert were red and irritated behind his wire rimmed glasses and his nose had a slightly pink tinge around the nostrils that spoke to the level of irritation that he was experiencing in his sinuses. "I've got some benadryl if you want one?" she asked gently.

"Eughh" he groaned, "I wish I could... those things put me to sleep, and given that I missed the last one of these meetings, I'm betting that Skinner would just, ETSCHUUUH ETSCHT, love that. I'll just have to run out to a drugstore once the meeting has finished".

Standing up, he snatched up one of the folders lying on his desk and held it out to Scully to take. "You'd better carry that, I think I'm going to need both hands to deal with the snuuuh, snuuuhhh, ESCHUMHPH sneezing" he said as he lifted the box of tissues from his desk with one hand and scrubbed at his itching eyes with the other.

"You know, given how bad your allergies actually are, you really should try allergy shots" Scully suggested gently as they made their way out of the office and towards the elevator to take them to the sixth floor.

"No way, you know how much I hate needles" he replied, stifling another set of sneezes in now sodden tissues. Stopping for a minute to grab a cup of coffee from the pot that was brewing in the hallway he continued "anyway, as long as I actually take the damn claritin I'm normally ok, its just fucking luck that the one day I forget to take them I have to go sit through what will no doubts be a three hour meeting".

Hitting the button to the elevator they stood waiting for it to arrive, their wait punctuated by sneezing and sniffling from Mulder. As the doors to the elevator opened they got in and Scully leaned across, stabbing at the button for the sixth floor. She looked at Mulder and smirked as she saw him fighting off yet another sneeze, this is going to be a fun meeting, she thought to herself as the doors slid shut.

Loved it! It's been so long since we had a new X-Files fic. I could just picture Mulder like this...yum...

PART TWO

As the elevator slowly started to ascend from the basement to the sixth floor, Mulder began to curse the caffeine addicted need that had led to him stopping to grab the piping hot cup of coffee he now held in one hand. His other hand held wet and slowly disintegrating tissues and he longed for nothing more than to be able to reach under his arm where the box was currently nestled and grab a fresh handful of dry tissues to bury his itchy nose into and give a long satisfying blow. He sniffed, trying futilely to relieve the itch that dwelled deep within his sinuses.

*Shit* he thought to himself as the need to sneeze intensified. "Uuhhhh, Scuhhh, Scully?"

"Yeah?" she replied, arching what he had now come to think of as THAT eyebrow at him.

"Could you do me a fahh haaayhhh..." HATSCHUMPH he sneezed, trying to stifle it as best as he could and watching the coffee sloshing dangerously close to the lip of the cup as the sneeze forced his body forward. "A favour and take this damn cup of coffee of me before I..." HARTSCHUMPH "manage to burn my other god damned hand trying to get a tissue out of this box".

Scully smiled. She hadn't seen him this miserable since they had been called out to look at the third victim of Charles Ray Burbank, a serial killer that Mulder had profiled two years ago, and whose body had been unceremoniously dumped in the middle of a ragweed filled field. God, even with his usual dose of antihistamines
coursing through his system he had begun sneezing about five minutes after arriving at the crimescene and had continued sneezing for the two hours it took to process
the scene and for him to get a feel for the killers actions. In fact he hadn't stopped sneezing until they had returned to the motel and he had taken another pill and
showered. Already the number of sneezes emerging from her partner rivalled the allergy attack that she had witnessed that day.

"Give it here" she said in a voice that to anybody other than Mulder would have sounded exasperated and annoyed, but after six years of working together he could hear
the subtle tone of amusement that underlay her apparent annoyance. She stepped towards him, and reached out her hand towards the coffee cup. Her hand slipped around the top of the mug, holding it firmly in place as he started to slip his fingers from their place around the handle. He sneezed, his body pitching forward with the
force, and the coffee danced gently up and over the side of the rim spilling onto Scullys hand and causing her to gasp as the hot liguid lightly scalded her palm.

"Oh Shit! Scully I'm sorry. You ok?" he asked, the itching in his nose temporarily forgotten as guilt washed over him.

"I'm fine Mulder, you just caught me off guard. No harm done". She smiled to reassure him that she was actually ok, and tried not to laugh as her partner visibly relaxed. As he relaxed, the momentary distraction from his hayfever already being put behind them, the itching in his nose increased and he remembered exactly why
Scully had ended up wearing his coffee in the first place. He shoved the sodden tissues into his jacket pocket and grabbed a fresh handful from the box before bringing
them up to his nose just in time to catch the three sneezes that were desperate to escape... ESCHHT ESCHHUUHHT HNGXXT. He then gently blew his nose before relegating the tissues to his jacket pocket. Just then, the elevator stopped on the fourth floor, the doors opening to reveal Skinners personal secretary. Mulders eyes widened as she, and the large bouquet of flowers that she was holding, stepped into the elevator and said hello to both of them.

*Shit. Just what I need... more pollen* Mulder thought to himself as he heard Scully admiring the flowers and Kimberley reply that they were for Norma in the typing
pool who was retiring. As the two women continued to chat, Mulder could feel his eyes starting to water, trying to relieve the itching that was growing stronger with
every passing second. His eyes started to flutter closed and as his breathing began to hitch he grabbed desperately for some more tissues before launching into a fit
of eight sneezes that came out so quickly he barely had a chance to draw breath in between. He groaned, realising the sneezes had done nothing to relief the itch and
as he looked up he saw both women looking at him.

"What?" he asked, feeling slightly self conscious over the attention directed at him.

"God bless you! Are you ok Agent Mulder? You don't sound very well" Kimberley asked concerned.

"I'm fuuhh fuuhhh uhhh fine" he replied, another sneeze building as he did. "I'm just ahhlehhhrgic to uhhh" *flowers* he started to say before he was caught up in
another sneezing fit. Scully, seeing the trouble that her partner was having, turned to Kimberley and said, "his hayfever is really bothering him this morning and
those" she nodded towards the flowers "are probaby not helping matters".

Kimberley flushed "Oh I'm so sorry Agent Mulder, I didn't know" she stammered.

"Its okay. Not your fault" he replied before starting to sneeze again.

Just then, the elevator came to a halt on the sixth floor and Kimberley quickly exited the elevator first, taking those *damned flowers* as Mulder had started to think of them in the short space of time that he was trapped in the elevator with them with her. He sneezed again. His nose was running profusely now and allergic tears welled up in his eyes, and right now he was wishing that he had taken Scully up on her offer of benadryl, even if it would have meant facing Skinners' wrath for sleeping his way through the meeting.

"You ready for this partner?" he heard Scully asking.

"Not really" he replied, sneezing quickly against the tissues in his hand "but we really should head in before we're late".

Oh boy! Thanks so much for writing this and deciding to continue. I've been looking for a new Mulder fic.

Oh wow, I just love this! Thank you so much for writing this awesome story! I can't wait to read more.

hah!
I think this could easly become one of my favourite stories! For once there's a f****** MALE sneezing and in plus (tadaaaaaaaaaaaan!!) the story talks about

Missy -->






..... wtf?
eeer ok, I was a bit hyper

Anyway, krazykat you are a super writer, I love how you describe and give many details, I love how Scully doesn't seem to give too much attention to all the sneezing Mulder does and I love the fits of eight!! soo yummy
I really hope you will continue with part 3.. and part 4.. and part 5..and 6 and 7 and 8 and..

Yes I really second this.

BTW it's super hot that you had him in glasses. Allergy attacks plus glasses is so....

Its so easy to put glasses on to Mulder... he always looked super when he was wearing them! I can't believe that the evil DD went and had the LASIK procedure...

Thank you so much for your really lovely comments. I haven't writted fiction since I was sixteen and that was an incredibly long time ago now, so it is really reassuring that despite the hundreds of typos I keep spotting and can't edit out that you are all enjoying it. I had actually forgotten how much fun it is to write for pleasure rather than just to meet deadlines or to obtain grades.

One thing that I am having problems with, and I am sure you lovely ladies might be willing to help, is where to take this story to next. The kind hearted person in me wants for Scully to send Kimberley out to get Mulder some Claritin, but then the evil part of me, who really enjoys a bit of Mulder Torture, thinks that I should leave him suffering for a bit longer. Any ideas, or anything that you would like to see happen to our happless hero in the next installment??

Hmm well I say leave him suffering a bit longer. One idea that I had was that someone in the meeting is wearing some strong smelling perfume or cologne that normally wouldn't bother him, but with his nose already so irritated..... well you get the idea.

PART 3

Mulder sighed as he desperatly tried to concentrate on what Agent Johnstone from VICAP was saying, but the itching in his eyes and nose, and the accompanying sinus
headache that had arisen over the last hour and a half were just proving to be too strong a match for this discussion on reducing overheads and curtailing spending on
non-essential forensic tests. He removed his glasses, setting them down on the file that rested in front of him, and raised his right hand to his eyes, rubbing them
gently. He sneezed, a harsh, wet and tired sounding HETSCHUMPHH that accurately reflected the exhaustion that had worked its way into his being after three hours of
near constant sneezing. He was miserable and wanted nothing more than to head home, take an antihistamine and crawl onto his couch and suffer in silence, but no,
instead he was stuck in one of the longest and most boring meetings he had ever had to attend and was seriously considering just taking out his gun and shooting
Johnstone to get him to shut the hell up. He chuckled at the image in spite of his misery.

"Are we amusing you Agent Mulder?" he heard Skinner ask and looked up to see his boss scowling at him. Before he had the chance to reply, Skinner carried on speaking. "I would have thought that given that the overall cost per X-file investigated is higher than that of any other case assigned to any other department that you would at least be willing to provide us with your full attention for a few hours".

"Sorry sir. It won't haahh hahh hahhhtschuuh, happen again" he replied, groaning silently as the itchiness in his sinuses intensified again. He leaned forward and grabbed one of the scrunched up tissues from the small mountain of sodden, used tissues that lay on the table in front of him. Pulling it up to his nose, he leaned forward slightly and gave his nose a good blow. The wet, gurgling sound clearly audible across the room.

*Eughh... what I wouldn't do for another box of tissues* he thought to himself as he stared at the empty box that lay on the table in front of him. An empty box that now sat there, taunting him with the image of a nice clean dry tissue printed on its side. *Why the hell didn't I just run back up to my apartment when I realised that I had forgottent to take my antihistamines?* he asked himself, as he stifled another two sneezes against the crumpled tissue.

"Thank you Agent Johnstone. Does anyone have any questions?" Skinner asked the senior agents sat around the table, and seeing them all shake their heads, concluded "then why don't we take a ten minute break and resume at 10.45". Having been given the opportunity to stretch their legs or grab a quick cigarette, the agents around the table quickly stood and headed through the office door to the outer office and beyond. Mulder stood up slowly, placed his glasses back on and groaned as the pressure in his head increased.

"Are you ok Agent Mulder?" Skinner asked. "You don't seem to be your usual acerbic self today".

"Honestly... I think i'b dying" Mulder replied, his voice congested and his head pounding from the continued onslaught of sneezing. "I'b going to head dowb to the basebent and grab some tylenol and suhb bore tissues, I'll be back before the next session behh behhh uhhh UTSCHMPTH, begins" and with that he turned away from Skinner, and his partner, who both stood looking at him with concerned looks on their faces and left the office.

"Is he really ok Agent Scully? That's one hell of a cold he has. Maybe he should be home in bed?"

Scully looked up at her supervisor, a man whom she had grown to respect and care for as a friend over the last few years, and smiled. "He's fine. I know he doesn't sound it, but he's not actually ill. He slept in this morning and in his rush to get here he forgot to take his daily dose of antihistamines. I swear the man is allergic to everything and at this time of the year his hayfever can get really out of hand". She walked across the room and grabbed the small trashcan that sat in the corner of the room and brought it back across to the desk in order to push the small mountain of tissues that Mulder had accumulated and the empty box into it.

"Allergic to everything?" Skinner asked incredulously as he watched her place the can under the table where Mulder had been sitting.

"Well... not everything, but he does have a lot of allergies: pollen, dust, mold, cat hair and he's also allergic to some perfumes. I remember the first year that we worked together my parents had given me a bottle of Poison by Christian Dior for Christmas, and what with my dads death, the Boggs case and Mulder being shot, I didn't actually get around to wearing it for the first time until Mulder came back to work on desk duty. I swear, I was in the office for all of five minutes when he started sneezing uncontrollably and I ended up having to wash the damn stuff off. On the plus side, if I really want to get rid of him, I only have to threaten to put the stuff on and he runs for the hills".

"You are a wicked woman Dana" Skinner said, laughing at the mental image of Scully stood staring at her partner, holding a bottle of perfume and her eyebrow raised as if to say *just you try to stop me*.

She laughed. "I'm not that wicked, I don't think I could ever actually follow through on the threat". She glanced towards the door as a handful of agents starting to trail back through the door.

"Why don't you go check on him Scully? There's still another five minutes till we are due to reconvene".

"Thanks. I might just do that" she said, and headed off in hunt of her missing partner.


END OF PART 3

*Next time on the Xfiles: a stuck elevator, Kersh's 'poisonous' secretary and an extremely allergic Mulder.

OGM this is getting better and better! You've had me squirming in my seat the whole time I was reading this. I can't wait for the next part.

And onto... PART 4

Mulder stood at the sink in the basement bathroom that nobody apart from himself and his partner used and looked at his reflection in the mirror. His eyes were red and irritated looking, his eyelids puffy, and his nose was pink and irritated. Sighing, he pulled his glasses off, folding the legs together and placing them in the inside pocket of his suit jacket. He sneezed three times and then used the back of his right hand to rub at his nose, sniffing. He turned on the cold tap, lowered his hands under the stream of water, cupping it in his hands and slowly brought his open eyes down into the water, one after the other, attempting to irrigate some of the pollen and irritation from them. He repeated this several times, revelling in the refreshing coolness, and wishing that he could hide out in this basement haunt for the rest of the meeting. Knowing that that was not an option and that Skinner would have his hide if he tried a stunt like that, Mulder washed his hands, splashed some water on his face and used a hand towel to dry both his face and hands.

*Ah, thats better* he thought to himself, feeling marginally more human than he had been five minutes ago. He grabbed another paper hand towel out of the dispenser and brought it to his nose and blew, hard, trying to clear as much of the congestion from his nose as possible. It seemed like minutes passed whilst he blew and blew, loud, wet and honking nose blows, however he knew as he inhaled experimentally through his nose that it had only been about thirty seconds at most. He smiled, realising that for now, at the least, he could actually breathe through his nose again and that the itching seemed to have subsided. Throwing the towels in the bin, he pulled his glasses back out of his pocket, unfolded them and slipped them back onto his nose and headed across to his office to grab a couple of painkillers, and he thought to himself, some more tissues.

Slipping into his office he headed to Scully's desk and opened the top left hand drawer where he knew she always kept a box of tylenol. Slipping two out of their packaging, he quickly dry swallowed the pills, replaced the pack in the drawer and grabbed a box of tissues from behind his desk. Looking at his watch he realised that he had a couple of minutes to get back upstairs to the meeting and headed to the elevator. As he got to the elevator, he pressed the call button and the doors opened immediately. He slipped inside, pressed for the sixth floor and leaned against the cool metal.

As Mulder was boarding the elevator in the basement, Scully was stood patiently waiting for the elevator to make its way up to the sixth floor. She was fairly certain that she would not get down to the basement and back in the few remaining minutes of the break, but given how concerned Skinner had been about Mulder's health, she was also fairly sure that he wouldn't mind if she were slightly tardy in returning. She watched the screen above the door as it scrolled from the basement upwards, pausing at the second floor to let people on and off. *Hurry up* she thought to herself, tapping her foot impatiently, *I probably could have jogged down to the basement by now*. She looked up again, this time puzzled to see that the electronic display had not changed from the second floor. She pressed the call button again and waited. Another thirty seconds passed and the elevator display still had not changed. Probably stuck, the God damn piece of shit broke down at least once a week, a testimony to the age of the building and its elevators. Frustrated, she turned on her heels and walked into Skinner's outer office. "Kimberley, could you give the X-files office a call for me please. I want to see if Mulder is still down there or if he is on his way back up here" Scully asked. "No problem Agent Scully" Kimberley replied as she picked up the phone and dialled Mulders' extension.

Whilst the phone rang and rang in the X-files office, Mulder was currently stuck in an elevator that was quickly going nowhere with none other than Kersh's secretary. He listened as she picked up the emergency phone and asked security what on earth was going on and when they could expect to be on the move again. As she spoke to security, her eyes roved up and down his body, a predatory gleam in her eye, and her tongue snaked across her lips in a seductive manner.

*Christ, she's doing it again* Mulder thought to himself, completely bemused by her behaviour. Ever since he and Scully had come back from Nevada she had acted as if they had a history together, yet he could not for the life of him think of anything that he had done or said to suggest that he was evenly remotely interested in her. She wasn't even his type. I mean sure, she had a fantastic body and ten years ago, when he was profiling full time for Patterson, he would probably have taken her up on the offer, another member of the admin staff to add to the "Spooky fan club", but since he had quit profiling, drinking and smoking, his own predatory behaviour had ceased, and anyway, one night stands just didn't do it for him anymore. As he watched her, watching him, he became aware that the congestion in his nose was slowly beginning to return. He sniffed, pulling a tissue from the box, bringing it to his nose and blowing, eager to keep his nasal passages as open as possible now that he had cleared the worst of the congestion.

Kersh's secretary sighed as she hung up the phone. "Looks like we are going to be stuck here a while Agent Mulder. They have no idea why, but the motor has packed up and they are going to have to call out an engineer, so for the meantime its just you and me" she said, leering at him. "I don't know about you, but I've always had a fantasy about making love in an elevator".

Mulder gulped. *What the hell?!* he thought to himself. There was certainly nothing subtle about that and he had a sinking feeling that this could certainly turn out to be one of the longest waits of his life. He sniffed, his nose again flooding with mucus, and he realised that the itching that had been plaguing him all morning had returned. He lifted his right hand up to his face and used his thumb and index finger to rub his nostrils and the bridge of his nose in an attempt to relieve the itch. As he did this, Kersh's secretary sashayed her way over to him, her hips swaying provocatively. Mulder sniffed again, and paused as a familiar scent assauged his irritated sinuses.

*Oh shit* he thought as he felt the hairs in his nose stand on end, irritated and ready to fight the invading army of allergens being exuded by the Christian Dior perfume that was currently doing battle with his poor sinuses. He could remember the first time that he had come into contact with this aptly named "Poison", Scully had been given it as a Christmas present the first year they had worked together and she had come into the office wearing it. Within minutes of her arrival he had felt himself becoming stuffed up, and a couple of minutes later, when she bent her head next to his to read the case file he was looking at over his shoulder, the intense itch that had spread throughout his nose had become unbearable and he was consumed in a paroxysm of sneezes, one after the other bursting from his nose, barely a second between them and he hadn't been able to stop. Hadn't been able to tell her that the hand that she had extended towards him with a tissue was just making it worse as her wrist was splashed with the same perfume that was making him sneeze. And now here he was, five years later, stuck in an elevator with a sexually predatory female that was drenched in a perfume that he was horrendously allergic to.

He sneezed, once, twice, three times, and before he could move away, Kersh's secretary had extended a hand out and rested it on his forehead, checking for the temperature that she imagined accompanied the sniffling, sneezing and tissue carrying mess that was Special Agent Fox William Mulder PhD.

Mulder gasped, jerking back violently as her wrist, which had been liberally dabbed with the perfume came to rest in front of his nose. His breath hitched and he desperately tried to move away from her as he gave into the huge sneezing fit that had subtly been building since she had stepped into the elevator a few minutes earlier, HUTSHHHEWWWW HUHHSHOOOO HUTSCHMPH HUARSCHUMPH ETSCHMPH ETSCHOOO HESCHOOOOO. *Shit* he thought to himself as the itch continued to magnify, He couldn't move, consumed by the sneezes, his body violently rocking forward with each sneeze, his breathing become harsh as he tried to pull in breath between each one.

Kersh's secretary stood riveted to the spot, staring at him in shock and amazement as sneeze after sneeze continued to escape from him. She watched as he fumbled with the box of tissues, desperately trying to pull a handful free, the task made more difficult by the fact that he was trying to stifle his sneezes into the back of the hand that held the box.

"Oh my God. Are you ok Agent Mulder?" she asked, and then silently kicked herself as she realised that no, of course he wasn't ok.

"Duhhhh uhhhh HETSCHMPPH HATSCHCMPPH HARTSCHUUUUH do i luhhhh luhhhSCHUMPH look ohhhh ohhhh HATSCHEEEEEWWWW ok" he replied as he managed to free the tissues and bring them up to his face, stifling the sneezes that were becoming wetter and harsher as the allergy attack persisted".

"Uhhhh, no. You don't look ok. Is there anything I can do?" she asked, a look of worry on her face.

Mulder glared at her, well as best as he could considering that his face was buried in a mound of scrumpled up tissues and he could barely keep his eyes open long enough to focus on her through his teary eyes before he sneezed again. "Nuuhhh nuuhhh noooohh HARTSCHEWWWMP I think you've duhhh duuuuhhne enouuu huuhhhh HATSCHUMPH enough".

END OF PART 4


So ladies... how long do you think I should leave him trapped for?

Um that was just.... can't form coherent thoughts.... too much hotness...


And can I just say that I'm really amazed at how quickly you're writing all of this. The current fic I'm working on it, it's been taking me a few weeks to finish each part. I get such bad writer's block.


Hmmm how long should they be trapped.... Well it might take about an hour for the engineers to even get there. Then I have no idea how long it would take for them to actually fix it, probably a couple of hours at least. Is 3-4 hours too long to leave him trapped in there? Surely that would make him run out of tissues again.

I will agree with you and I am the sodding writer!I almost wish that i hadn't followed your idea of perfume making him sneeze and giving him a perfume allergy, and as for being trapped in an elevator, at the moment that is my number one sneezing fantasy and just writing about it is making me




I think it's just one of those things... I have sat and racked my brains for the last four days about how to continue the "twisted twister" story and although I have this vague notion that I would like for them to be paintballing and my sneezy, allergic character to be hiding from the sneeze fetishist who is trying to hunt her down, I just can't write it. Yet this, which came to me as a random snatch of thought whilst I was at work has been a dream to write. My fingers just go to the keys, I start typing and at the end I read it through and think how the hell did I write that! Maybe a sneezing and helpless Mulder is just far to easy for my mind to deal with. I am almost tempted to take DDs other character Hank Moody and when I am validated write a fic about him and a woman with a sneeze fetish... I am sure that that character would certainly be up for inducing a few sneezes for his latest one night stand!!!




You are a wicked, wicked woman... I like the way that you think Hmmm, i never did say what Kersh's secretary was wearing did I... hmmm, I think I nice hermes scarf that she was given as a present could be sacrificed in the near future!

And Kythe, thank you... I have to say that I have been feeding off your enthusiasm to some extent. You are brining out the best (and the worst ) in me!

Yeah I am wicked aren't I. I've certainly had a few people tell me that I've corrupted them, including my younger sister who I introduced to the adult version of Sleeping Beauty. Anyway...

This is such an awesome story, it's hard not to get enthusiastic about it. I'm glad that I'm helping to motivate you. I know it helps me get motivated to write more when I know people like what I've written.

Why am I picturing Johnathon Wilkes in drag when I read that comment?

's then spontaneously just thinking about it!

Well I have to say I've never heard of the guy so I looked him up on Google Images and I found a picture of him dressed up like Tim Curry's character from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Is that what you were referring to?

BTW the adult version of Sleeping Beauty was a trilogy written by Anne Rice.

Oh yeah baby... you imagine being woken up by that from a hundred year slumber. Yes, I admit it, another of my kinks is hot looking men in womens lingerie....

Anyway, am off to cool down and think about how I can torture spooky, or should i say sniffly, mulder some more.

Ok... have put down Johnathon Wilkes and returned to another Fox so without further ado here is:

PART 5

Mulder was in hell. He sat slumped in the corned of the elevator, his jacket off, tie loosened, and shirt sleeves rolled up, a small mound of used tissues collecting at his side. He glared at Kersh's secretary who sat, naked legs akimbo in the opposite corner, her own suit jacket, silk scarf, pantyhose and high heels gathered in a small pile beside her. Her bleached blond hair was mussed, and her shirt collar open so that the black bra and the generous cleavage it contained under her untucked white shirt could be seen. She looked for all the world as if she had just stumbled out of bed after a session of hot love making, and despite the fact that she wasn't Mulders type, the red blooded male that he was, was turned on at the sight of her. The fact that it was so hot wasn't helping matters either. It was fucking boiling in the elevator that they had been trapped in now for the last thiry minutes, and it wasn't going to get any better now that the air conditioning that had been providing wonderful cool air for the first twenty minutes of their incarceration in this damned tin can had packed up.

Mulder sneezed, hastily pulling a fresh tissue up to his nose just in time to stifle the sneeze into it, and then blew his nose. Although his allergies were still going haywire, his nose was just too exhausted to continue sneezing the rapid fire fits that had erupted out of him in the first ten minutes that they had been trapped together. It also helped that after having desperately tried to tell Jill that he was allergic to her perfume in between the massive fits of sneezing that he had had no choice but to surrender himself to, that she had somehow managed to work out what he was trying to tell her and had moved to the opposite side of the elevator. The fact that the air conditioning had packed up was not helping though because as Jill started to sweat the scent of her perfume had started to become more prolific.

Mulder chuckled to himself, wondering how in the hell it was that he always managed to find himself in these kinds of situations. It wasn't like he actually went looking for trouble, it just kind of had a wonderful way of finding him. He sneezed again, HASSCHEEEWHH, and as he looked up he noticed Jill was staring at him again. "What?" he asked, the congestion that he was suffering evident in his voice.

"You going to share the joke with the rest of us prisoners?" she asked, her voice sounding rather dry from a lack of speaking.

"Sorry, I was juuuuhhh juhhh HETSCHUMPHH just thinking about how I ahhhl ahhhhhahhhHASCHEEEEEW always seem to end up in these kind of situations. I did try to explain to your boss once that I didn't actually go looking for trouble, it just has a wuhhh wondehhhh ETSCHUMPH wonderful knack for finding me".

She laughed then, a wonderful rich and throaty laugh that bounced off the walls of the elevator and made Mulder smile. "Agent Mulder, the man has no sense of humour
and even less patience for things that do not conform to his militaristic view of looking at things. Everytime you and Agent Scully were summoned to his office I used to have to block off the next hour of his schedule just to prevent him from either having an aneurysm or from firing the first agent that crossed his path after you had left, and as for that time you got caught up in that high speed chase with, was it Crump?" she asked looking at him and Mulder nodded. "I honestly thought that he was going to have a heart attack when he stuck his head through his office door and screamed at me to get in touch with the relevant authorities".

Mulder laughed as the image of his ex-boss stressed out to the high heavens and screaming at his poor secretary popped into his head. "Yeah, I should probably sahhhy
suhhh huhhh suhhhhETSCHUMPH, say sorry for the amount of trouble that I've cuhhh HETSCHMPH HETSCHEEEEWMPH caused you". He grabbed another tissues then from the box, noting with alarm that he had already used half of them, and blew his nose again, sneezing twice in the process.

"Don't worry about it. I've been his PA for years now and trust me, I am more than used to his mercurial moods" she replied, watching him as his face crumpled up, the
urge to sneeze so blatantly written across his features. "You really are allergic to my perfume, aren't you?" Jill asked, feeling guilty for the suffering that she was
unintentionally causing this sexy man who was trapped in an elevator with her.

*My God he's gorgeous even when he's a sneezing, suffering mess* she mentally added to herself.

"S'not your fuhhhh huuhhh fuhhhHETSCHUUEEW fault. I've always had really bad ahhh ahhhlehhhETSCHOOOO ahhllehhrgies and they just seem to be gehhhh, huuuhhhhESCHEWWW, getting worse each year" he answered, smiling to reassure her that it wasn't really her fault. He sneezed again, a quick fit of four sneezes, and groaned as he realised that after about ten minutes of exhausted respite that the number of sneezes was starting to increase again. He grabbed another tissue and gave his nose a wet blow, before dropping the sodden tissue onto the increasingly growing pile of tissues.

*Eugghhh* he though to himself *I wish those fucking engineers would hurry up and get here before I end up having to use my fucking tie to blow my nose with*. He
sneezed again, sniffed and then pulled off his glasses in order to rub at his eyes, and paused, the need to sneeze consuming him again. He waited, the sneezy feeling
slowly building, the itch gently building, teasing the small hairs in his nose. His breath hitched, the sneeze building further, he closed his eyes and raised the tissues towards his face, tuning out everything around him, surrendering himself completely to the need to sneeze. Huuuhhh ahhhhh hehhhh, HUH? He opened his eyes,
startled as the sneeze suddenly disappeared. He relaxed, dropping the tissues onto his lap and then HARTSCHHEEEEEW, the sneeze came flying out of him, completely
uncovered, the spray from it slowly misting in the air, and as he grabbed for the tissues, a fresh sneezing fit consumed him, the sneezes barrelling out of his nose,
one after the other, each of them sounding harsh, wet and desperate... HARSCHEEEWW RARSCHEEEW HATCHOOOOO HARSCHEEEEWWW YASCHOOOoo hahhh HATSHEEEEW ETSCHEEEEEEW

Oh wow, what a great thing to wake up to. I love how you have him trying to talk through the sneezing fits.

I was reading this with one of my parrots on my shoulder, and he really seemed to wonder what I looked so happy about.

*Apologies to all who have come to expect masses of Mulder sneezing in each part... there are no sneezes and no Mulder in this part.


PART 6

Scully sat in Skinners office, presenting the statistics that Mulder had been asked to compile in relation to the Xfiles spending over the course of the last five years, inwardly groaning at Mulder's ability to get himself into trouble even within the relatively safe confines of the Hoover Building. She looked down at the conference table, spotting his cell phone lying next to the marvin the martian mug that she had given him for a joke during their first year of working together, the only evidence that her partner was actually supposed to be present at this meeting and not stuck in an elevator. She silently promised herself that she would kill him for leaving her in the position of having to defend the departmental outgoings to Skinner, it was actually worse than the annual audits that the department received. She took a deep breath, waiting for Skinner to start interrogating her about the figures.

Instead, Skinner looked at his watch and said "OK people, I think that we should wrap things up for today. It's been a long, but very productive meeting. Thank you for all the hard work that you have put into this" and with that the agents were summarily dismissed. Whilst the other agents quickly left the room, Scully gathered together the sheets of paper from the file and turned to her boss.

"I would have thought that you would have had a few questions about our budget sir?" she asked as Skinner stood up, stretching from having remained seated for the last two hours.

"Agent Scully, Mulder is the senior agent on the X-files and although I know you could probably justify each and everyone of the spending projections he has come up with, I think that Mulder should be the one who is made to answer those questions seeing as he managed to get himself out of yet another one of my meetings. Really, Dana, what is it with that man and budget meetings, team building seminars and career development training?"

Scully laughed, thinking about the aborted attempt to attend a team building seminar in Florida. *We never did get round to building that tower of furniture did we?*

"Sir, I have long come to terms with the fact that the natural state of order that surrounds Agent Mulder is chaos, and any attempt to regulate that normally ends up in disaster, or even worse, a nice little trip to the forest".

Skinner laughed, well aware of the history that these two particular agents had when it came to cases that resulted in their having to visit forests. "Well, if you could let Mulder know that there are a few points of his spending plan that I would like clarified that would be most appreciated". He watched Scully as she finished gathering up the files, grabbed Mulder's cell phone and mug, and turned to leave the office. "I will do, Sir" she said as she slipped through the door to his outer office and headed back to their basement lair.

Scully walked to the end of the sixth floor corridor, noting the "out of order" sign that adorned the only elevator that led down to their basement office. Deciding that this gave her the perfect excuse to grab some exercise, she opted to take the stairs and headed back to the office. Five minutes later, she negotiated the hallway to their office and opened the door. *Still no Mulder* she thought to herself, wondering if her errant partner would ever be freed from that elevator as she placed the mug on his desk, placed the file in his intray and slipped his cell phone into her jacket pocket for safe keeping. She picked up the phone on Mulders desk and rang security.

"Hi Mike, it's Agent Scully. Any news on the elevator situation?" she asked, her head tilting back in the seat to look at the collection of number ten pencils that hung from the ceiling tile. *What ever possessed him to do that I'll never know* she thought to herself as she heard Mike telling her that although the engineers had arrived and assessed the problem, they needed to replace some part that they didn't have and that all in all it should be another hour or so before they could get the elevator going again".

"Ok no problem Mike, let me know if anything changes" she said, then thanked Mike quickly and hung up the phone, her stomach rumbling. Well, she thought to herself, I may as well pop out to lunch then, so much for Mulder's promise that he would treat her to lunch for helping him with the budget report. She laughed out loud then, thinking about her genius partners complete inaptitude for figures. As she did this, she opened the middle drawer of Mulder's desk and grabbed a pen and a stack of post-it notes. She quickly wrote him a note in case he, by any miracle, was freed from the elevator before she returned.


Moose,

Meeting over... finally! You owe me big time!
Skinman has few questions about costings,
wants you to call him. Am going to grab some
lunch, will bring you back pastrami on rye
and a root beer.

Squirrel.

P.S. am going to take pity on you and stop
off at the drugstore to get you some drugs.
Try not to get into any more trouble!

She smiled as she looked at the stupid nicknames they had given each other after a stupid conversation they had had about Rocky and Bullwinkle one night whilst on a stakeout. She ripped the post-it off the block and attached it to the photoframe that held a picture of Mulder's lost sister, before placing the photoframe face down on the desk. She smiled at this game of theirs, a game that had started after the X-files had been closed and their partnership terminated for the first time, knowing that he would spot the note immediately. Satisfied that there was nothing else she could do, she stood up, grabbed her purse and left the office.

Don't worry about the lack of sneezing and Mulder, sometimes these things are necessary to build the story and I enjoyed reading it.

PART 7... I think this may be the penultimate part by the way, so enjoy it while it lasts.


Mulder stifled another sneeze HNNGXXH as the latest sneezing fit seemed to taper off. He sniffed, wiping at his running nose and squinted at Jill, his glasses now resting on the floor, and listened as she spoke to Mike in security.

"OK, so how long do they reckon that that is going to take?" she was saying, her left hand errantly playing with her hair as she listened to what she was being told. Suddenly the expression on her face changed, a look of anger taking hold "an hour?! You have got to be kidding me? Is there no way that we can get out of this damn elevator?" she said, the exasperation and frustration at their current situation evident in her voice. "Mike I know they are doing the best they can but this is absolutely ridiculous, we have been stuck in this god damned elevator for well over an hour now. What if there was a fire, or one of us was having a seizure or something, do you really think telling us to just sit tight would reassure us?" She slammed the phone down and sighed, wanting to cry from the frustration.

Suddenly she felt a hand on her arm, and looked up to see Mulder standing next to her, his left hand raised to his nose, fingers pinching it closed to avoid inhaling more of her perfume. "Jill, calb dowb" he said to her, his speech sounding horribly congested as a result of so much sneezing and the fact that he was currently pinching his nostrils closed. "I know its frustrating but they are doing their best".

"I know, I just want to get out of this fucking elevator. I hate feeling trapped like this, and its so fucking hot, and shit, I could actually kill someone right now for a bottle of iced water and a nice, crisp chicken caesar salad. You don't think that we should just, I don't know, climb out of here or something?" she asked, looking at him with her blue eyes wide and tear filled.

"Great idea" Mulder replied sarcastically. "We hab no idea where the car is in relation to the second ab third floor, I cab't stop sneezing for more than a couple ob minutes at a tibe, and you want to play at being Keanu Reeves and Jeff Daniels just so that you cab get yourself a bottle ob water and a fucking salad".

Jill started to laugh. He was right, it was a stupid suggestion, and really, what did she, a god damned secretary who was scared of heights know about escaping from elevators.

"Adyway, I don't think that I'b up to climing up into an elevator shaft right now, i'b been sneezing all borning what with hayfeber and your perfume, I think the dust alone would be enough to kill be and Scully would be mightly pissed at me if she ended up having to cub down to the morgue to claib by body because I fell off a ladder as a result of a sneezing fit and plummeted to by death in an elevator shaft". He smiled at her through his own watering eyes, watching her laugh as she imagined the scene he had just described. "Look, why dob't you just sit dowb and, difficult as it is, try not to think about it".

She nodded then, her face beginning to relax. "Uhhh, thanks Mulder" she said, starting to slide her way gracefully back to the floor.

"You be ok if I go back to by corder ob the elevator then?" he asked.

"Yeah, I think I'll be ok now. I think I was just getting to be a little bit stir crazy" she replied as she watched him gracefully move back to the other side of their shared tin can. Suddenly, a crunching sound could be heard in the elevator, quickly followed by a "Shit!" from Mulder who stood looking down, squinting, at his now mangled pair of glasses.

*Serves me fucking right for leaving them on the fucking floor. Can this day actually get any worse? This has to be new fucking record, even for me* he thought to himself. Feeling his own frustration levels rise he ran his right hand through his hair and used the left hand to massage the tension that he could feel building in his shoulders. He audibly groaned as he realised that despite his best efforts not to breathe in any more of Jill's perfume that he was still close enough to her that it was invading his sinuses again. He scrubbed angrily at his nose, the wet sounds of his congestion evident as he did so, and groaned as he felt yet another sneezing fit building. He took the last few steps to the corner of the elevator and dropped down to the floor, not caring that in doing so he caused the elevator to gently shake. Reaching forward he grabbed the last handful of tissues that remained in the box and brought them up to his face catching the rapid fire sneezes that he couldn't stop from escaping.

*Oh yipedee yay* he thought to himself sarcastically *looks like you are going to be finding out if a silk necktie acts as a decent substitute for a handkerchief after all Mulder ol' boy*. He continued to sneeze, stifling them in the tissues HNNGXXT HNGXT ETSCHTT, his body growing weary as the attack continued.

Jill watched him, her guilt increasing slightly as she realised that this latest sneezing fit had been caused by his kindness in trying to calm her down. She sighed, promising herself that she would never wear this perfume to the office again.

After another minute had passed, the sneezes started to taper off and Mulder was able to blow his nose again. He dropped the tissues to his lap, and brought his hands up to the bridge of his nose, pinching slightly to try and relieve the sinus headache that had started to form. He looked at Jill and grinned, despite how miserable he felt. "Adyway. If I was to climb out ob this elevator, it wouldn't be for a fucking salad. I'd want tissues, eyedrops and ab abtihistabine. I'b a regular kind ob hero you know?".

She started to laugh then. A really genuine laugh that quickly built into one of those all consuming laughs that leave your sides splitting and your lungs gasping for breath. Mulder joined in, a few coughs escaping from his irritated throat, as he gave into the humour of the situation.

Oh that was priceless having him break his glasses. Poor squinting sneezing Mulder.

Well, I had to have some way of ensuring that Scully had to drive him home didn't I??? Not even Scully would be so cruel as to bundle a squinting, sneezing Mulder into a cab.

Glad you are enjoying it

PART 8... Epilogue to follow.


Scully arrived back at their basement office, a deli takeout bag in one hand and a bag from the drug store in the other hand, she placed both on Mulders desk, walked
over to her own desk and sat down, pulling out the file relating to their latest case and started to compile her notes into the end of case report that still needed
submitted to SKinner. It had been over two hours since her partner had just popped down to their basement office to grab a box of tissues. *How much longer can it take to fix an elevator* she thought to herself, unable to truly focus on the task at hand. She sighed, picking up the crime scene photos and looking at them.

The phone rang. Glad for a distraction she picked it up. "Agent Scully" she said into the receiver. "Oh hi Mike, whats happening now?" she asked the rather stressed
out security guard. She listened as he explained to her that the engineers had finally managed to obtain the part and that they figured that all being well, that
within half an hour, her partner and Jill Calhoun would be freed.

*Jill Calhoun?* she thought to herself, *Kersh's secretary? Poor Mulder*

Ever since they had come back from Nevada Kersh's secretary had been acting as if her and Mulder had a history together, and although Mulder denied that anything had happened, she couldn't shake the feeling that something about that weekend had not been quite right, and she wasn't just thinking about the leopard print covered water bed and mirrored ceiling that Mulder had accussed her of installing in his apartment as a joke. "Thanks Mike" she said and replaced the phone received on its cradle.

She smiled. It would be nice to have her partner back in the office with her. Although he drove her absolutely mad the silence in the basement office without his presence was almost deafening. She even missed the god awful sound of him cracking his sunflower seeds and that, she thought, spoke volumes about the extent to which their lives had become intertwined over the last six years.

Meanwhile, Mulder and Jill were sat in the elevator, laughing hysterically over absolutely nothing, the cabin fever that had set in over the last two hours finally having managed to get to them. Mulders laughter broke off as he was hit by a coughing fit, the congestion and the throat scraping sneezes of the morning having irritated his thoat. He took a deep breath as the coughing fit ended and immediately regretted it as he felt the need to sneeze building again. Desperately he searched through the pile of used tissues, searching for a crumpled bunch that looked as if it would actually survive another one of his sneezing fits. He groaned, none of them seemed even remotely salvageable, and although he had sarcastically joked about using his tie as a handkerchief he knew for a fact that it would not be able to deal with the force of the sneezes he felt building. He raised his arm, his breath hitching and sneezed into his elbow, the rolled up sleeve of his armani shirt catching the tired sounding HARSCHUUUMPH. He felt his breath hitch again and groaned as he felt the sneezes building.

"Are you ok, Mulder?" Jill asked, concern written on her face as she listened to him softly moan.

"Yeah, I'm fuuhhh fuhhh fine. I just need tuuuhh huhhh to huuuhhhh to snuhhhh snuuuhhETSCHT sneeze" Mulder gasped out just before he gave himself over to the sneezes. HATSCHuUMPH HATSCHEEEEWW HARTSCHEEEEW HASCHUUUUUUHMP HATSCHEEEEEW he sneezed with no indication that he was ever going to stop, and with each sneeze he felt the turned up sleeves of his dress shirt becoming damper. *Shit* he thought to himself as about a minute passed and he was still sneezing. His eyes were watering and his nose was running profusely and he couldn't stop sneezing, HASSCHHEEEEW HATSCHUUUUW HATSCHUUUMPH RARSCHOOOOO HARSCHOOOO. His breath was becoming ragged as he desperately tried to suck in breaths between each sneeze, and with each breath the need to sneeze continued to grow. He was miserable and wanted nothing more than to blow his nose, when he felt a hand touch his shoulder. He looked up, his nose still buried in his elbow to see Jill stood there, holding out her silk scarf to him. "Take it" she said.

Still sneezing, he shook his head gently, on the one hand mortified at the thought of ruining her scarf and on the other hand secretly desperate to grab it out of her
hands and bury his nose into it and blow.

"Look its my fault you're sneezing in the first place, and you don't look as if you are going to stop sneezing unless you blow your nose, and you don't have any tissues left to blow your nose so just take it. You know you want to" she said, smiling at him patiently.

"Thuhhh thahhASHCUUUU thanks" he said, taking the scarf and raising it to his nose and stifling three more sneezes into it. Feeling the itch subside for a moment he
took the opportunity to blow his nose. A deep, wet, gurgling and all together satisfying sound. Immediately he felt the itch start to subside and he pulled the scarf forward slightly and inhaled. *FUCKKKKKK* he thought to himself shakily as the scent of poison immediately gripped his sinuses. He took a hitching breath and started
sneezing again. He had no choice but to catch them in the scarf. A scarf that about two hours ago had been around Jill's neck and a scarf that was heavily impregnated with her perfume. With Poison.

Jill stood riveted, watching as Mulder was consumed in a paroxysm of sneezes, stifling each and every one in her scarf and then groaning softly as he breathed in. She
couldn't work out what was wrong. In the past he had been able to bring the sneezes under control, at least temporarily, by blowing his nose. *Oh God. She sprayed her
perfume onto her clothes in the morning and the scarf would have absorbed some of the scent" she thought, her guilt increasing.

"Oh God, Mulder, I'm so sorry. I didn't realise" she babbled as he continued to sneeze. Just then, the phone rang and she reached to pick it up. "Mike? When the hell
are we going to get out of this fucking elevator" she asked, her voice sounding panicked as she watched Mulder, his eyes streaming and swollen, continue sneezing
uncontrollably. "Really? That's great" she said hanging the phone up.

"Mulder, they have fixed the problem and are going to send the elevator down to the basement" she told him, not sure that he had even heard her through the sneezing
fit. She quickly slipped over to the other side of the elevator as she heard the motor starting and slipped on her high heels and jacket, stuffing her pantyhose into
her jacket pocket. She then walked over to Mulder and bent down, slipping his broken glasses into his jacket pocket and picking the jacket up off the floor as the
elevator started to move. She then held her hand out to Mulder. "Come on, give me your hand" she said, trying to help him to his feet.

Mulder clutched the scarf in one hand, still sneezing into it, exhausted. He leaned into her slightly, no longer caring whether he looked pathetic or not. He just
wanted to get to his office, grab some tissues and take the damn benadryl that Scully had offered him that morning and pass out. The elevator stopped and as the doors
opened, Jill guided him into the hallway, his movements jerky as he continued to sneeze. As they approached the door to the Xfiles office, the door opened and Scullys
head appeared through the opening.

"Jesus Mulder" she exclaimed, taking in the sight of her partner who was struggling to walk in a straight line as sneezes wracked his body. "What the hell happened?"
she asked Jill as she helped her guide Mulder into the office and into his desk chair. Jill leaned behind him grabbing a box of tissues that she saw lying on the shelf. Ripping the seal off the box she grabbed a handful and thrust them into his hand, exchanging them for the scarf.

"It turns out your partner is very allergic to my perfume. I really should go Agent Scully, he's not going to stop sneezing until he gets away from me" she answered
Scully's question and then turned and left the Xfiles office and headed back to the elevator, gathered up the sea of tissues that littered the corner and headed up to
her sixth floor office.

EPILOGUE

Mulder sat in his desk chair, frozen, as he patiently waited for the stuck sneeze that wanted to escape to finally work its way out. He looked up at the light in the ceiling, trying to coax the sneeze out and spotted his partner watching him. "Whuuuhhh whaaahht?" he managed to gasp out just before he sneezed. HARSCHUUUUUH. Sighing with relief, he brought the tissues to his nose and proceeded to blow, desperate to relieve the congestion that filled his nostrils. Scully continued watching him. Relieved that his sneezing was finally dying down. "I went to the drugstore whilst you were trapped" she told him. "I got you some flonase and some extra strength claritin. You really should take both. The steroids in the spray will stop the sneezing, and the claritin should get rid of the itching. She walked over to her desk and grabbed the two boxes and returned, handing them to him.

Mulder smiled at her through watery eyes and lowered the tissues, experimentally breathing in through his nose. "You know we really should be picking out those china patterns, Scull" he told her as she handed him the medications. She watched him as he opened both packets, used the nasal spray and dry swallowed a tablet. He then rubbed at his eyes and Scully remembered that she had also picked up some eyedrops for him. She walked over to her desk and grabbed the bottle from where it sat. "Lean back" she said to him as she walked back over to him. "These should help the itching in your eyes as well".

Standing behind him she held his eyes open gently and dropped a couple of drops into each eye, watching Mulder as he blinked owlishly. "Where you not wearing glasses this morning?" she asked him, mentally adding *like I could ever forget when he wears his glasses, I see them that rarely these days*.

"I uhhhh huhshooo, I stood on them" he told her sheepishly. Watching as THAT eyebrow arched its way up to the ceiling.

"I'm not even going to ask how you managed to do that" she told him as she perched on the end of the desk, reached over and picked up the phone and dialled Kimberley's extension. "Hi Kim, it's Dana. Can you let AD Skinner know that I am going to be driving Agent Mulder home. His allergies are still going absolutely haywire and he has broken his glasses". She listened. "Yeah, between the sneezing and being unable to see he's not exactly going to be be getting much work done this afternoon. OK, I will do. Yeah OK, thanks Kim".

As she hung up the phone she turned to her partner, watching him as he sneezed again. "Skinner wants to see you at nine o'clock tomorrow morning to discuss some concerns he has about the budget projections you put together. Other than that, you are to go home and get some rest. So, come on partner lets get you home". She stood up and extended her hand out to her partner, helping him up from his chair, and for once, she followed him out of the office, her hand coming to rest on the small of his back.


The next morning, Jill Calhoun walked into her office at 8am and stopped, noticing the nicely wrapped box sitting on her desk. She walked over to it, looking puzzled. Reaching down, she picked up the small gift tag that was attached to the gift and read: "to replace the scarf that I ruined yesterday. Thanks for your help, Mulder". She smiled and sat down her desk, opening the gift to find a beautiful blue silk scarf.

OMG you wrote about one of my favorite scenarios! I just love the idea of someone sneezing or blowing their nose into something that just makes them sneeze more. I have to say this is one of the best stories I've read in quite awhile. I'll have to go back and read it again and again until I

I'm glad that you have had as much fun reading it as I did writing it!

I'm not sure what I am going to do with myself now that I don't have a Mulder to torture anymore... I think it might be time to think about reintegrating with society

Well just cause this story is over doesn't mean you can't still torture him.
Though I probably shouldn't encourage you, it just results in me getting distracted from my own writing. I think I only got about 2 sentences written yesterday.

Yeah... I suppose I could always return to torture him at a later date. If anyone has any ideas or scenarios that they would like explored don't hesitate to suggest them, but no promises that I will write them up immediately as I have to catch up on the housework now!!!

Great ending!!! If you're thinking of writing something else, Mulder with a cold would be amazing, but perhaps you only write allergies? More like this would also be great...

Up until this week I didn't write anything other than boring, cut and dried scientific reports so am up to trying my hand at anything. Leave it with me and I will see if anything emerges

There's already a ton of other Mulder cold stuff out there so I really wouldn't mind seeing another allergy story. I don't have anything particular in mind but will let you know if I think of something.