KittyCalamity

What does Hurt/Comfort mean to YOU?

25 posts in this topic

I've always thought that my fetish was a special snowflake weirdo fetish that no one else had or understood, but I'm starting to think it might just be a hardcore h/c fetish.

I never thought it was a h/c fetish because I thought h/c was a very specific thing. Like I thought it HAD to involve injury as well as emotional distress... for some reason the phrase hurt/comfort evokes a very specific image for me of like a delicate little sub/uke getting comforted by his overprotective dom/seme, The uke is like bleeding and crying and the seme is cuddling him. I have no idea why but I thought that was h/c and nothing else was h/c period end of fetish. lol

But now I'm seeing that h/c is a much broader term. Fanlore defines it thusly:

Quote

Hurt/comfort is a fan fiction genre that involves the physical pain or emotional distress of one character, who is cared for by another character. The injury, sickness or other kind of hurt allows an exploration of the characters and their relationship.

 

Seems like it can be any kind of hurt. I've always had a thing for physical weakness, illness, etc. Coughing, sickness, and sneezing yes, but also just physical weakness and disabilities, especially requiring some kind of aid/support, whether orthopedic (i.e. wheelchair) or from another person (needs help to walk/stand). Could this be considered h/c? Or maybe I am just a special snowflake weirdo fetishist... haha.

What does hurt/comfort mean to you? When you read/hear "hurt/comfort," what images does it evoke? Is Kitty a complete nutcase? (Yes they are.) Do you identify at all with having a "weakness fetish"? I've felt so alone on this for so long :x

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Lol, I truly doubt you're alone in your opinion on this. Personally, I do agree with that definition of hurt/comfort, meaning that hurt/comfort can include being inhibited physically and/or mentally, and potentially just really depressed. I personally don't think of this as an individual fetish, but I do love reading material with this subject. Whenever I read or think of  hurt/comfort subjects, It always comes to mind the sympathy and compassion that character comforting has for the hurting character. I think that hurt and comfort can be a part of sneeze fetish, and some people just really enjoy a good hurt/comfort story cause it usually gives off a warm feeling…maybe one the reader loves reading about the compassion of the other? 

I think I went and ranted a little bit, sorry. Hopefully that answers some of your questions and you eventually realize you're not alone!

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Yes!  I think the "hurt" does not have to be severe physical or emotional distress; it can just be (as the poster above me wrote) physical or emotional inhibition.  It can be vulnerability of any sort.  You're not alone in having a "thing" for hurt/comfort, either:  I've had one too, for as long as I can remember.   

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To add to my previous post, here is one of my favorite hurt/comfort movie scenes:  Liam Neeson as Oscar Schindler comforting Amon Goeth's abused Jewish housemaid in Schindler's List:

 

 

 

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Honestly, Kitty, I think I used to feel the same way as you when I was younger. I thought "hurt/comfort" (in fanfiction contexts) was supposed to include either emotional distress or some kind of injury. Then, when I realized that all kinds of illness fall into the "hurt" spectrum as well, I became aware that hurt/comfort is very much my kind of thing. :lol:

I do like emotional hurt/comfort to some extent, but not in the same way that I like it when illness, especially colds, are involved. I think it's because the emotional hurt can be... a bit too severe for me to enjoy, you know? Colds, on the other hand, make for super fluffy h/c, which is wonderful. More severe illness, for me, can be great, too, as long as it's not chronic or actually dangerous or life-threatening. I'll go as far as bronchitis or pneumonia, but only if the sick character is generally in good health, so there's no reason to think they won't recover soon. In some instances, a combination of emotional distress and illness can be amazing (fever-induced crying :wub: ). Injuries... hm... don't do much for me, I think. I mean, somebody cleaning somebody else's wound or something like that is kind of cute, I guess? But in the same way that one character doing anything sweet for another character, like make them hot chocolate or rent their favorite movie, would be cute to me. 

So, to answer your questions. Yes, I used to think h/c had to involve either emotional hurt or an injury of some sort. I don't anymore. I now count anything where one character takes care of another for whatever reason as h/c. And no, you are definitely not alone in enjoying that. ;)

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I am personally drawn to this kind of thing as well, and never thought of it as a fetish, but it might be for me?  I always like characters that are underdogs, that are picked on; I kind of imagine I'd be the person that makes them realize they can be loved.  Or in movies, if a guy is just dealing with way too much and cries, it twinges something in me and I wanna help.  I like men to be emotionally vulnerable and available.  I'm sure hurt/comfort can mean a lot of things, physical injury, sickness, etc, but what I personally get drawn to is emotional vulnerability.  Somebody getting made fun of or somebody misunderstood with a lot of emotional angst.  And it doesn't mean necessarily some poor flower; it's often a character that lashes out or has their own flaws.  I'm really drawn to characters that you can chew on, in a sense- like ones that are well-written with flaws, strengths, and who are well-rounded and can change over the course of time.  

Edited by HornedSerpent

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I always considered illness a subset of h/c, a genre I have ALWAYS been into. Certain types of injuries also work for me, but most illnesses are better. I find purely emotional h/c not usually my cup of tea, and depending on the genre that's a fairly common type of piece in the FanFiction community. 

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2 hours ago, queenie said:

I always considered illness a subset of h/c, a genre I have ALWAYS been into. Certain types of injuries also work for me, but most illnesses are better. I find purely emotional h/c not usually my cup of tea, and depending on the genre that's a fairly common type of piece in the FanFiction community. 

 

Interesting! I hadn't considered purely emotional h/c before. It doesn't appeal to me, as such, the way that physical h/c does. Can I ask what types of illnesses/injuries you're drawn to? I've always had a thing for chronic illness, but also anything that involves impairment or interfering with breathing. Sometimes I can be in the mood for a little emetophilia too?

 

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Also thanks everyone for the thoughtful responses. it's interesting to just think of h/c a different way. Reckon it's safe to say, then, that I had a haaarrrrrdcore hurt/comfort fetish then.

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33 minutes ago, KittyCalamity said:

 

Interesting! I hadn't considered purely emotional h/c before. It doesn't appeal to me, as such, the way that physical h/c does. Can I ask what types of illnesses/injuries you're drawn to? I've always had a thing for chronic illness, but also anything that involves impairment or interfering with breathing. Sometimes I can be in the mood for a little emetophilia too?

 

Chronic illness is good, depending on how in-depth the story gets on symptoms; I prefer for there to be a flare at some point during the story. Headaches, coughing, sneezing (that's how I got here), exhaustion, any kind of acute pain with associated impairment-- broken/sprained ankles, wrists, dislocated shoulders, which are all pretty vulnerable parts of the body now that I think of it. Limps. I don't usually go in for emetophilia stories; I can handle (and sometimes enjoy) light descriptions of nausea and stories in which someone vomits, but I don't like intense or in-depth descriptions of it, which I think are kind of gross. One exception to my emotional h/c embargo is panic attacks, which I can find very interesting to read about. Insomnia is rarely-used but I think a fertile ground for the sort of thing I like. 

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20 hours ago, HornedSerpent said:

I am personally drawn to this kind of thing as well, and never thought of it as a fetish, but it might be for me?  I always like characters that are underdogs, that are picked on; I kind of imagine I'd be the person that makes them realize they can be loved.  Or in movies, if a guy is just dealing with way too much and cries, it twinges something in me and I wanna help.  I like men to be emotionally vulnerable and available.  I'm sure hurt/comfort can mean a lot of things, physical injury, sickness, etc, but what I personally get drawn to is emotional vulnerability.  Somebody getting made fun of or somebody misunderstood with a lot of emotional angst.  And it doesn't mean necessarily some poor flower; it's often a character that lashes out or has their own flaws.  I'm really drawn to characters that you can chew on, in a sense- like ones that are well-written with flaws, strengths, and who are well-rounded and can change over the course of time.  

I totally agree about the "guy is just dealing with way too much and cries" type of situation.  Are you familiar with the movie The King's Speech?  In it, there's a scene where Colin Firth as the title character is so stressed and overwhelmed by the way things have been going for him that he suddenly breaks down in tears, and his wife soothes him.  That's the sort of thing I love. 

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On 10/5/2016 at 11:50 PM, queenie said:

Chronic illness is good, depending on how in-depth the story gets on symptoms; I prefer for there to be a flare at some point during the story. Headaches, coughing, sneezing (that's how I got here), exhaustion, any kind of acute pain with associated impairment-- broken/sprained ankles, wrists, dislocated shoulders, which are all pretty vulnerable parts of the body now that I think of it. Limps. I don't usually go in for emetophilia stories; I can handle (and sometimes enjoy) light descriptions of nausea and stories in which someone vomits, but I don't like intense or in-depth descriptions of it, which I think are kind of gross. One exception to my emotional h/c embargo is panic attacks, which I can find very interesting to read about. Insomnia is rarely-used but I think a fertile ground for the sort of thing I like. 

Omg i love the insomnia idea, i night have to use that in a drabble or something... Except short form wouldn't be as satisfying to me. i like to read/hear about symptoms starting mild, then getting worse and progressing.

Honestly it seems like we're into similar things, which is a first for me but it's nice to not feel so alone. Yes chronic illness that flares and is integral to the plot/story/relationship! For me anything that causes weakness or impairment of some kind. I'm fascinated with CFS and POTS lately since those revolve heavily around weakness and fatigue. 

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One of my OCs suffers from insomnia so yes it's a very fertile area for h/c as his partner constantly worries about him ;)

For ficts I really like anything were one person is taking care of the other. Person doesn't need to be sick they could be stressed or overwhelmed. I just adore the idea of someone fussing over someone else :heart:

Edited by Kaze BOO Hiku

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On 10/6/2016 at 8:41 AM, Luisa39 said:

I totally agree about the "guy is just dealing with way too much and cries" type of situation.  Are you familiar with the movie The King's Speech?  In it, there's a scene where Colin Firth as the title character is so stressed and overwhelmed by the way things have been going for him that he suddenly breaks down in tears, and his wife soothes him.  That's the sort of thing I love. 

I haven't seen that particular movie, but yeah, totally.  It's one reason I am so into Snape; besides the nose (YAS OBVIOUSLY), he's so emotionally wounded and flawed.  I think in most movies Adrien Brody is in he has emotional breakdown scenes, too.  Maybe cause he has those big sad eyes and eyebrows, he's always cast with those kinds of parts.  I mean look at him... omg.  

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B9chNChITYLXTkp4ZWEtQ0k1WGc

 

I'm not personally into the other aspects of h/c I've seen, but those (illness and injury) seem to compliment the sneezing, as far as physical vulnerability so I could see why a lot of people here would have a crossover.  I'm MUCH more into emotional vulnerability, probably because I get faint when I see blood, think about injuries, and I also have a fear of disease.  

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8 hours ago, Kaze BOO Hiku said:

One of my OCs suffers from insomnia so yes it's a very fertile area for h/c as his partner constantly worries about him ;)

For ficts I really like anything were one person is taking care of the other. Person doesn't need to be sick they could be stressed or overwhelmed. I just adore the idea of someone fussing over someone else :heart:

 

Cuuuute! I want to play with insomnia now too. so cute. I could see that being a very interesting/compelling element in a fic. <3 Have you posted any of it? I'd love to read!

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5 hours ago, HornedSerpent said:

I haven't seen that particular movie, but yeah, totally.  It's one reason I am so into Snape; besides the nose (YAS OBVIOUSLY), he's so emotionally wounded and flawed.  I think in most movies Adrien Brody is in he has emotional breakdown scenes, too.  Maybe cause he has those big sad eyes and eyebrows, he's always cast with those kinds of parts.  I mean look at him... omg.  

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B9chNChITYLXTkp4ZWEtQ0k1WGc

 

I'm not personally into the other aspects of h/c I've seen, but those (illness and injury) seem to compliment the sneezing, as far as physical vulnerability so I could see why a lot of people here would have a crossover.  I'm MUCH more into emotional vulnerability, probably because I get faint when I see blood, think about injuries, and I also have a fear of disease.  

I haven't yet seen Adrien in many emotional breakdown scenes, but I have seen him in a number of "smiling through tears" scenes.  There are several in The Pianist, most notably at the end.  He has such a sweet smile and beautiful green eyes.

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6 hours ago, Luisa39 said:

I haven't yet seen Adrien in many emotional breakdown scenes, but I have seen him in a number of "smiling through tears" scenes.  There are several in The Pianist, most notably at the end.  He has such a sweet smile and beautiful green eyes.

He has one in the pianist when he emerges into the street, one in Love The Hard Way (terrible movie) and just in general he's morose in The Brothers Bloom.  He has an emotional breakdown moment in Detachment, and The Jacket he's generally emotional a good portion of the movie.  

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9 hours ago, KittyCalamity said:

 

Cuuuute! I want to play with insomnia now too. so cute. I could see that being a very interesting/compelling element in a fic. <3 Have you posted any of it? I'd love to read!

Why yes I have ;)Morning Coffee is their first fict together. 

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10 hours ago, HornedSerpent said:

He has one in the pianist when he emerges into the street, one in Love The Hard Way (terrible movie) and just in general he's morose in The Brothers Bloom.  He has an emotional breakdown moment in Detachment, and The Jacket he's generally emotional a good portion of the movie.  

 On, I'd forgotten about the street scene in The Pianist!  The camera is fairly far away, but you can hear him sobbing.

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Before I joined the forum, I did not know the term "hurt/comfort" and I didn't realize that it was a thing. When I joined the forum, I realized I had a thing for hurt/comfort. To me, hurt/comfort has a huge link with a cold, flu, and fever. Since I am more into sneezing as a result of an illness rather than allergies or any other cause, hurt/comfort and vulnerability are big things for me. For me, hurt/comfort gives me the image of a person with a cold who just wants to go to bed. Beyond a cold, flu, or fever, I don't find hurt/comfort in other illnesses to be appealing. As far as weakness goes, I like the idea of a normally hardworking and dedicated person needing to take time for him/herself when he/she gets sick. So, yeah, I like weakness but not when it doesn't involve a cold, flu, or fever.

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1 hour ago, bingocorpse666 said:

Before I joined the forum, I did not know the term "hurt/comfort" and I didn't realize that it was a thing. When I joined the forum, I realized I had a thing for hurt/comfort. To me, hurt/comfort has a huge link with a cold, flu, and fever. Since I am more into sneezing as a result of an illness rather than allergies or any other cause, hurt/comfort and vulnerability are big things for me. For me, hurt/comfort gives me the image of a person with a cold who just wants to go to bed. Beyond a cold, flu, or fever, I don't find hurt/comfort in other illnesses to be appealing. As far as weakness goes, I like the idea of a normally hardworking and dedicated person needing to take time for him/herself when he/she gets sick. So, yeah, I like weakness but not when it doesn't involve a cold, flu, or fever.

This is me exactly! I love H/C but only when it involves some sort of illness... otherwise I don't like it so much. 

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To me,hurt/comfort is lots of coddling and warm and fuzzy fluff and "don't worry,I'll help you get better". Just....fluff. Lots and lots and LOTS of fluff.

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On 27.10.2016 at 0:58 AM, Weegie said:

To me,hurt/comfort is lots of coddling and warm and fuzzy fluff and "don't worry,I'll help you get better". Just....fluff. Lots and lots and LOTS of fluff.

For me, too! No matter if it's because of illness, injury or mental pain. Just a lot of fluff and caring for another. :heart:

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I love hurt/comfort if...

  • a fever is involved
  • the sick character is not a whiny one but one who tries to struggle through until it isn't possible anymore and someone MUST help them (or him - as I prefer males ^^)

As I wrote something about h/c today anyway, I tought I could share here:

Do you like care-taking?

Absolutely! And I like if the caring person as all worried and nervous about the fever.

If yes - who should take care of the sick person and how?

Who should take care?

  • the best would be the lover or martial partner
  • if that’s not possible, it can also be a very dear friend (who doesn’t mind touching) or a family member

How should they take care?

  • There should be touches! That’s essential for me – fever feeling, giving nice massages to the aching body parts; strokes and little kisses to comfort and soothe the patient are the things I love the most
  • There MUST BE fever-taking! At least one time, better several times – always when the care-taker assumes the temperature has risen; and “under the tongue”, please ;)
  • I also like when the care-taker brings medicine, tea; tissues (together with a trash can) or a bucket when the sick person feels nauseous
  • holding the (fevered) head of the person that feels nauseous

Do you prefer stubborn or whiny patients?

I love it when a sick man is in denial and pushes himself very hard until his body really breaks down and he needs help. Then, as soon as he feels just a little bit better, he would do something stupid again and risk a relapse and it's getting even worse than before. :blush: :wub:

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Fever is huge for me too these days, Hedgehog, though I care for females. It's funny how things evolve though. At one point I was only into oral temperatures, but now I'm weirdly turned on by axillary temperatures (under the arm) in situations where a person is too congested or queasy or coughy to hold the thermometer in her mouth. I can't explain it, but axillary temps almost introduce another layer of vulnerability to the situation. Depending on what this person is wearing, do you pull their shirt tail up or maybe you stretch their collar down a little? Do you hold their arm against their side for them if they're weak, or are you maybe not quite close enough friends at that point? Ah, the possibilities.

Anyway - thanks for posting. I agree with you that touching is huge. A weird pet peeve of mine is when I see a young woman who is sick and obviously trying to feel her own forehead or cheeks and her significant other is just standing there seemingly oblivious. They don't feel the cheeks or the forehead, there are no little forehead kisses or whispered reassurances. It's enough to drive a guy a little crazy.

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