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Damn this is so good again! Please never stop posting these :)

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SO PERFECT. Truly, what else can I even say? You’re brilliant. Plain & simple.

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Thank you for sticking with me! More to come. 



Fandom: Ocean’s 8

Characters: Lou, Other 

I sat on the couch, resting against a wall of pillows I’d built up on its arm. The lights were dim and candles were lit; the movie had been on for less than an hour, and I’d already jumped in my seat more than once. Lou didn’t love scary movies, but she was willing to watch whatever I wanted to watch- especially in October. She knew I loved the chill of the air, the early darkness, the need for a blanket and a good pair of socks. So she sat opposite me, fiddling with the tassels of a blanket her legs were tangled up in whenever we were in the midst of a particularly tense moment. 

“No,” I half-whispered to the screen, as our heroine made what I deemed to be a very foolish move. “No, no, no.”

Lou chuckled. “She can’t hear you.”

I ignored her, tucking my feet up under myself as I leaned closer to the screen. “Whyyyyy?” I groaned, putting a knuckle into my mouth and biting down to relieve the tension of the moment. 

Lou shifted, too, presumably to take another sip of the drink she’d poured to get herself through this. 

“This is not going to end well,” I mumbled, as our on-screen duo pushed through a door that certainly didn’t seem like a wise decision. 

“Hep’Tschhh!” Lou ducked into her blanket. 

I put a hand on her knee, unable to take my eyes off the screen. “What?!” I shouted, a little too loudly, as a terrifying creature appeared in the hallway of the room I had already warned them not to enter. 

“Heh’pTschht!!” She sniffled softly next to me. 

My eyes shot over to her for a second, but a blaring music cue erupted from the screen, and I immediately turned back to the action. “I told you!” I said out loud. 

Lou snickered again. “It’s too bad they didn’t take your advice.”

“It is,” I said defiantly, squeezing her knee in a spot I knew would make her twitch. Her leg jolted and her breath caught in a half-laugh. 

“Don’t,” she warned me. 

“Shhh,” I shot back, the scene getting quiet again. 

I could practically feel her rolling her eyes at me. This was a frequent conversation we had- why was I allowed to talk AT the movies we watched but she wasn’t allowed to talk DURING the movies we watched? It was so different, I’d tell her. I was participating; she was interrupting. 

I heard her take another soft breath, presumably to interrupt again, but she bent carefully away from me into the blanket. “Hmp’iHtschh!!”

I moved my hand up to her thigh and squeezed lightly. “You okay?” I leaned forward, suddenly pulling my hand back to help cover both my eyes with. “Absolutely not!” I squealed, peeking through anyway. 

Lou stood up swiftly, ducking into the kitchen. I figured she was refilling her drink, until I heard her in the other room during a brief break in the soundtrack. 

“Huh’IhkTshchh!! Heh’ihKtschhh-oo!!” 

I craned my neck to see in, but couldn’t find her. I sat back, pulling the blanket she’d left over to my side and clutching it under my chin. 

She waltzed in again after a couple of minutes, taking her spot back. 

“Almost over,” I whispered to her as the characters hid in a closet. “Go!” I scooted closer to her, my heart racing. She pulled half the blanket back onto her lap and slid her arm underneath, finding my hand and lacing her fingers through it.

“GO!” I squeezed her hand, maybe a little too hard. 

“Careful, Jesus,” she laughed, letting go. She pulled her hand back out just in time to snap quickly into it. “He’ihTschhh!! Ugh,” she groaned. 

“Bless you,” I said, laying my hand in her lap over the blanket. “What?!” The screen went black. The credits rolled. “That’s it???”

Lou turned to me and smirked. “If only they’d have listened to you, babe.”

I squinted at her. “I know you’re making fun of me, but I think I’ve proven that I would never let us get killed if we were in a horror movie.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Thank God I have you.”

I dropped my jaw in faux-surprise and poked at her side; she startled, grinning.

“I said don’t!” She warned me again. 

“I can’t help it,” I leaned in closer to her, craning my neck to meet her face. I reached up and guided her mouth to meet mine. I kissed her, longer than I think she thought I would. “Mmm. You taste like Cherry Coke.”

She pulled back suddenly. “Heh’IhhKtschhh!! Oh my god,” she said, annoyed. 

I traced her jawline with my finger as she slowly turned back to me, her eyes bleary. “Bless you, again.”

“Hold,” she instructed, putting a finger up telling me to wait. Her breath hitched for few seconds before she turned efficiently into her wrist. “Heht’Ihshhtchh!,” she wrinkled her nose. “I’m allergic to scary movies.”

“You’re very cute,” I laughed. “And you’re probably allergic to the new candle.” 

She scowled. “I’m ‘cute’?” 

“Sexy,” I whispered, kissing her again. “That’s what I meant.”

She nodded. “That what I thought.” She pulled away, leaning forward toward the coffee table. She blew out the candle; it was dark now. She took my hand and stood. “Bed?”

I smiled, even though she couldn’t see me. I stood, too, hugging her from behind. I rested my head on her back, breathing her in, feeling her heartbeat. I loved that she let me love the things I loved even though she didn’t love them. I loved her sense of humor. I loved the way she smelled like clean laundry and spearmint gum. I loved the way she sneezed, like she was bored by it while she was doing it. I loved that she was ticklish even thought she desperately didn’t want to be. I loved her, so wholly. “Please.”

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this is SO CUTE & perfectly depicts a cozy fall evening 

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Thanks again for coming back to these! Trying something new and starting a little series here.  


Fandom: Ocean’s 8

Characters: Lou, Debbie 

Series: 4 Times Lou Wanted Debbie To Leave Her Alone (And 1 Time She Didn’t)

“I’m not riding on that thing,” Debbie scowled as she stepped out into the makeshift driveway that was really just an unpaved, abandoned parking lot. She shook her head at Lou’s motorcycle, which was parked errantly in the middle of the lot. 

“I didn’t ask you to,” Lou shot back, walking past it and clicking the key fob that unlocked the doors to the car behind the brunette. “Is this more suitable for her highness?” 

Debbie rolled her eyes, but followed for once, stepping in and buckling herself into the passenger seat. “I see you haven’t learned to clean up after yourself since I’ve been gone.”

Lou unclipped sunglasses from her vest and put them on. “Well, without someone to nag me about it constantly, I guess it slipped my mind.”

“So you’re not dating?” Debbie smirked at her. 

Lou started the engine. “Ha ha,” she deadpanned. ”Besides, you know I’d never date anybody who wouldn’t get on my bike.” 

Debbie rifled through the cluttered glove compartment, not seeming to look for anything in particular, besides more fodder with which to tease Lou. “That’s why we didn’t work out?” She pulled an old notebook out and flipped through it, receipts, clippings, and crumpled napkins falling from its pages onto the floor as she shook it out. 

Lou chuckled. “That, among other things.”
Debbie paused and sat back up, facing the driver’s seat. “Why, you break my heart every time I speak to you, Lou Ann,” she put on a ridiculous Southern accent, which made Lou cringe. 

“What are you looking for?” The blonde woman finally noticed as she pulled up to a stop light. She picked up a tangled web of Mardi Gras Debbie had excavated and hung them around her neck. 

Debbie shrugged. “Nothing in particular. Figure I might luck out and find some diamonds in here- save me a lot of trouble,” she said, pulling out a half-empty bottle of what appeared to be men’s cologne. She sniffed it before spraying a few pumps into the air.  “This is kinda fun.”  

“Jesus,” Lou waved at the air, trying to clear the cloud. “Ht’EhNgtsChhh! Ht’ehNgShh-uhh!!”

“Whoa!” Debbie sat back, somewhat amused. “The ice queen has a weakness.”

Lou raised an eyebrow at her, unamused. “It’s really obnoxious, Deb.” 

Debbie held up the bottle and waved it around. “What, me? Or-“

Lou leaned over and pushed the brunette’s hand away, keeping one hand on the wheel. “Heh’iHngTschh-Uhh!! Cut it out, I’m driving.” Her sense of levity was dissipating much more quickly than the smell. 

Debbie lowered the bottle, putting it in her lap. “Oh, come on. Don’t be mad at me now.”

“You’re making me want to turn around and drop you back where I found you,” Lou told her, rubbing at her nose with the back of her hand. “Fuck! What is that stuff?” 

“It’s in your car...” Debbie mumbled as she inspected the bottle more closely. “No name brand. Super surprising, considering it smells like it came from a vending machine.” 


Debbie eyed her up. “Damn, you’re not messing around.” 

“Yeah, what a surprise” the blonde woman shot back, sarcasm dripping from every syllable. Lou pulled one of the recently rediscovered napkins from the middle console and wiped her nose. She cracked her window, even though it was freezing outside. “You’re taking an Uber next time.”

“What the fuck’s an Uber?” Debbie squinted at her, wondering whether she was messing with her.  

Lou laughed out loud. “Oh, jail bird,” she said, reveling in her partner’s delightful ignorance. “I think this is going to be fun for me, too.”

Edited by zakandsara

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I love this one! You’re so good at writing banter; it’s amazing

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Yey, a series :clapping:

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Fandom: Ocean’s 8

Characters: Lou, Debbie 

Series: 4 Times Lou Wanted Debbie To Leave Her Alone (And 1 Time She Didn’t)

“Are you drunk?” Debbie sidled up to Lou, who was perched on a barstool, her long legs bent and resting on its gaudy silver rungs. She plucked Lou’s drink out of her hands and took a small sip. “You’re drinking your whiskey neat now?”

Lou took her drink back. “I am tonight.”

“What’s wrong?” she asked, leaning on her elbow against the bar and facing the blonde woman, who was pointedly, assuredly not looking back at her. Debbie poked her leg. “Hey. I’m talking to you.” 

Lou rolled her eyes. “Yes, I can actually hear you,” she attempted to be biting, but her now-muddled mind got in the way. She took another sip of her drink. “You need a drink.” She wasn’t asking. 

Debbie shook her head. “I’m okay. No-“ She quickly reached over to pull Lou’s hand back down after she’d prematurely starting waving it at the bartender. “I’ll just drink yours,” she said with a half-smile, attempting to bring the lightness back to their evening. Lou was fairly even-keeled, but when she drank, she could get dark. And Debbie had had more than enough darkness in her life throughout the past 5 years. 

Lou took that as her cue to pick her drink back up off the table and nestle it in between her thighs; she hated to share. “I know it’s late, but I’m not tired,” she declared, as though she were a teenager preempting her mother’s next attempt to reign her in.

“No?” Debbie cocked her head, sizing Lou up. “You were up early.”

“I’m always up early,” she answered, an unnecessary defense. 

“Are you mad at me?” Debbie finally just asked. She figured her companion was ornery, drunk, and stubborn enough as it was; prodding her with honesty couldn’t make the evening much more unpleasant.  

Lou looked down. “Why would I be?” It wasn’t the way a person who wasn’t mad would answer that question. 

Debbie chuckled. “Lou, I don’t know. You’re being...”

She trailed off, noticing a group of younger, cocky looking college boys lighting up a cigarette behind Lou. She rolled her eyes. 

Lou looked up at her. “Being what?”

Debbie shook her head. “You may not be tired, but I think it’s almost bedtime for me.” She peeked around Lou, watching as the pack of them stood waiting to be served and puffed on their Marlboros. She couldn’t remember the last time she saw anyone smoking inside; it was jarring, in more ways than one. “I’m old now, you know,” she returned to the conversation. 

“You’re free to go, Ocean,” Lou told her. She suddenly wrinkled her nose, her hand quickly reaching up to swipe at it.

“Why don’t you come with me?” Debbie put a hand out, really hoping Lou would take it without a fight. “You’re gonna need some help getting down. You’re not as young as you used to be, either” she joked, giving up after Lou ignored her offer and placing a hand on the blonde woman’s knee. She seemed barely to notice. 

She swiveled a bit in her chair, setting her glass down on the bar behind her. She pulled her jacket up by the collar and quickly ducked into it. “Het’nGxtchh!” She straightened up, glancing over at Debbie. “I’m fine.” 

Debbie rolled her eyes, pointing to the guys behind them. “Can we go? Before it gets worse?”

Lou shook her head, finally noticing them but turning back around in a pointed attempt to ignore them. “You can go.”

“I’m not leaving you here. Finish your drink,” Debbie half-asked, half-told. She took the glass off the bar and pushed it back into Lou’s hands, but pulled back as Lou’s breathing became shaky. 

“Heh’iTngxSh!” She cleared her throat, finally accepting her drink back. “Don’t tell me what to do.” She downed the rest of the whiskey anyway, as easily as if it were water. 

“Good girl,” Debbie said, no longer bothering to pander to Lou’s bad mood. The boys behind them moved a bit closer, suddenly eyeing the two of them up. Debbie switched sides, standing between Lou and the group of guys, who were still ashing their cigarettes into their now-empty beer cans. 

One of them tapped her on the shoulder.

She flipped around, squinting at them. “Can I help you?” 

Lou, seemingly suddenly noticing that Debbie was even there still, put a hand on her shoulder. “Leave it.” Debbie shook her off. 

The leader of the pack, she presumed, took half a step forward. “We were kinda hoping you could help us.”

Debbie laughed. “I think you have the wrong...generation.”

Another took a long drag and smiled, leaning into his puppy-dog cuteness. “Nah, we like older chicks.”

Lou tugged at her sleeve. “Let’s go.”

Debbie held a finger up, telling her to wait. She took a step closer to the boys, and all of them flinched, almost in unison. She leaned in close, whispering to their leader in a way that was more terrifying than if she’d been screaming. “You couldn’t handle an ‘older chick’ if your life depended on it.”

She stepped back; they collectively let out a sigh of relief, until she leaned back in and plucked a cigarette straight from their representative’s mouth. She put it out in the bar. “Good night, boys.” 

She turned on her heel and, in one swift move, slapped a $20 bill onto the bar, grabbed Lou’s hand, and led her through the increasingly crowded bar to the door. 

She felt Lou pause behind her and gave her a moment, but her adrenaline was racing now that she was mad, and so she hurried along, practically pushing through clusters of tipsy patrons until she reached the door. 

She shoved it open, leaning back against it so Lou could pass through. 

“Heh’tNgxshT!” Lou kicked a glass bottle across the parking lot. “You didn’t have to do that.”

Debbie caught up to her, pulling the car keys from the blonde woman’s back pocket. “I’ve never heard you hold in your sneezes like that.”

Lou shoved her hands into her pockets. “Why are you on top of me?” she snapped. 

“I’m not on top of you, I just-

“Jesus, Deb,” she put her head in her hands, frustrated. “I somehow managed without you for 5 years. What did you think would happen? Things change!” She was practically yelling now. 

Debbie stayed quiet. She got in the front seat of the car and sat, alone, for a moment. She watched Lou in the rear view mirror; she was cursing silently. She kicked the bottle back to where she found it. She finally got in the car. 

“I’m not- I didn’t....” she paused, took a deep breath, leaned her elbow against the passenger window and rested her head on her hand. “Fuck.”

“Yeah,” Debbie agreed, with all of it somehow. “I’m sorry if I....” she trailed off. “I know things are different. I’m-“


“I missed a lot,” she finally settled on. She reached behind Lou, into the pouch in the back of the passenger seat, and grabbed a box of tissues from inside. She passed it over. 

Lou nodded, looking out the window instead of at her friend, but took one anyway. “I changed my mind,” she finally said, after Debbie had begun driving into the darkness. “You should’ve fucked those kids up.” 

Debbie laughed, softly, carefully. “I thought about that,” she started, treading lightly. “But I didn’t think it would’ve sat well in the eyes of the law.”

Lou half-laughed back. She sniffled, wiping her nose quickly before tugging on the lapel of her suit and bending into it. “Hen’tnnXgsch!”

“You can open the window,” Debbie offered. 

“I know,” Lou answered flatly. “The loft echoes,” she said after a minute. 

Debbie raised an eyebrow at her. “Okay?”

Lou rolled her eyes. “That’s why I started sneezing like this.”

“Who were you bothering?” The brunette asked, amused but only half kidding. 

Lou shrugged. “Myself.”

Debbie chuckled. “Tough crowd.”

“And you, possibly, eventually,” Lou admitted, awkwardly attempting to extend some sort of abstract nicety. 

Debbie looked over at her and smiled. Lou smirked back. She put her arm behind the headrest of the driver’s seat. 

“Well, I didn’t mind you before,” Debbie told her, hoping she knew she was talking about more than a potentially echoey distraction. “And I like you now, when you’re actually talking to me.” 

Lou nodded. “Yeah. It’s hard to....” She paused, thinking, opening her mouth, pausing again. “Yeah.”

“We’ll get there,” Debbie said, more certain than she felt. She pulled up to the apartment and parked outside. 

Lou hopped out of the passenger seat, bending at the waist just as both feet hit the ground. “He’tnGxkshhT! Heh’iHntKschh-OO!!”

Debbie shut her door and followed as Lou made her way to the gate. She smiled to herself. “You up for a nightcap?” She asked as she held the iron latch open for Lou to unlock the front door. “Whiskey?”

Lou nodded, finally opening the door for Debbie to walk through. “On the rocks.”

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I love how this sort of builds off the last one, & how it deals in v real ways with what it would’ve been like for Lou & Debbie when Debbie got out of prison.

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