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Yuurei

The Sneezy Roommate (M OCs)

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Yuurei

Hi everyone! I wanted to try my hand at writing. I'm not very confident in my skills, so I'd love some feedback! I'm thinking of continuing, but here's what I got so far.The two characters here are my OCs, Ariel and Demetri. 
Here's a recent drawing of Ariel and a very old drawing of Demetri lol. Both are young adults.

By the way, the story mentions alcohol, so if this story needs to be put in a different category please let me know. Anyway, enjoy!

---------------

A sprig of buttercup… a pinch of powdered bone… a teaspoon of... wormwood oil? Who uses wormwood oil anymore? Crap.
 
Ariel pushed himself back from the kitchen table and stood up with a huff. He had been studying to be a sorcerer for over two years now, and never once had wormwood oil been on the required supplies list. But of course now of all times he needed it. Typical. He could get it in the morning, assuming the nearest shop carried it. Until then, he would have to improvise.
Kneeling down to the lower cabinet where he and his roommate, Demetri, kept the booze, Ariel’s eyes scanned the various bottles. He pulled out a handle of bourbon. Blech. He never understood how Demetri could just sip on this casually. Bourbon now out of the way, a bottle of absinthe hidden in the corner of the dark cabinet was revealed. This would work as a wormwood substitute, right?

Ariel unscrewed the cap and took a whiff of the green alcohol. Woof. This stuff was stronger than any magic he had learned, no doubt. He recalled a time in his first year when a huge guy from the incantation 101 seminar drank half a bottle and fell out of the second floor window. When he got out of the hospital he blamed it on being “hexed”. Yeah, right. Just one more reason Ariel was glad he didn’t live on campus anymore.

 Teaspoon in one hand, “wormwood oil” in the other, Ariel held his hands steady as he could. Measurements had to be very precise, or else he risked the mixture not combining correctly. 100% concentration. No nonsense. No distractions--

He’tchh!

The sudden noise of a sneeze from the other room caused the sorcerer to flinch, splashing the spoonful of absinthe all over his hand and shirt cuff. 

“Of course… of course.” Ariel muttered to himself.

As he rinsed off his hands, he could hear another sneeze over the running faucet.

H’pstch!

After shaking his hands off a few times, Ariel stuck his head into the other room. There sat Demetri with an open book in his lap and a handkerchief to his nose. 

“You good?” Ariel asked.

Demetri nodded without turning his way.

About 3 months ago, Ariel put up an ad on the school’s listserv looking for a roommate to live with off-campus, and Demetri was the only one who responded. Demetri wasn’t a bad guy or anything, but Ariel had trouble getting a read on him. In the few months they’d been living together, Demetri had said maybe three words in total. His curly silver hair was always pulled into a neat ponytail with the exception of a long fringe that covered his eyes like a sheep dog. Ariel figured the guy could either be 20 years old or 50 years old. One time, Demetri cut his finger while chopping vegetables and his blood was black like oil. Neither of them spoke of the incident. 

Ariel watched Demetri wiggle the handkerchief under his slender nose. He was honestly surprised the guy even sneezed like a normal person.

H-Hashoo!

“Gesundheit…” the sorcerer paused, “...you know, wiggling it around like that will just irritate your nose more. Just saying.”

Demetri lowered the handkerchief from his face and turned his head in Ariel’s direction, which Ariel assumed meant he was looking at him. His nose was noticeably pink and the rim of his nostrils red and irritated.

“Are you feeling okay?” 

Demetri nodded once more. 

Was this… a conversation? Could it be called communication? Before Ariel could say anything more, Demetri’s stoic face began to twist with tickly irritation again. His mouth opened slightly as he took in hitched breaths. Ariel tilted his head, eyes drawn to the slight flare of Demetri’s nostrils. He found something kind of captivating about seeing his statuesque roommate in this state. The handkerchief made its way back over Demetri’s nose and mouth as he released a rough “Hah-TSCHH!

The powerful sneeze bent Demetri over at the waist. His curly fringe hung forward, revealing his eyes squeezed shut. He stayed in that position for a brief moment before slowly sitting back up, now sniffling. 

“Bless you. You sure you feel okay? I got cold medicine if you--”

“I’m fine.” Demetri responded flatly, to Ariel’s surprise. His voice was deep and almost had a rumble to it. Ariel wasn’t sure if it always sounded like that or if it was congestion. 
 

 

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supernaturalfragalistic

Please continue! This is great! 

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Reaper

Super cute start! 

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Sneeziestofthemall

Please continue! I really like it:) amazing beginning 🤧😁

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Garblin

Your writing is really nice! Also, I'm intrigued by your OC's. Both have cute designs and you're doing a good job of drip feeding the reader a little bit about them at a time. I'm also a sucker for magical and fantasy universes in general, especially if it's got a somewhat modern or period flare. I'd definitely read if you continue!

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AngelEyes

Intriguing!

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Yuurei

Wow! Thank you all for your nice comments! I had some time to write a little bit more today.

--------

Ariel transferred his attention to the book lying in Demetri’s lap.

“What are you reading, anyway?”

Not expecting an answer, he grabbed the book to get a look for himself. Demetri continued to rub his nose agitatedly. 

It wasn’t like anything Ariel had seen from any bookstore. The pages appeared to be made from parchment rather than paper, and the text was handwritten. It looked ancient, like it could fall apart at any moment. But who knew, maybe Demetri was just one of those guys who liked buying things that were brand new but just looked antique... like pre-ripped jeans or those ridiculous glasses with giant frames. 

Ariel pushed up his ridiculous glasses with giant frames and gently closed the book to the front cover, wedging his thumb between the pages to keep Demetri’s place. 

Große Heidelberger Liederhandschrift.

“Is this… German?” He raised a pink eyebrow.

Demetri sniffled and nodded.

 As a sorcerer (in training), Ariel knew his fair share of Latin, but German? Forget it. 

“Are you German or something?”

Demetri shook his head.

“You just know German? You took lessons?”

Demetri shrugged.

What the hell was that supposed to mean?

“How old is this thing, anyway? Looks ancient.” Ariel chuckled lightheartedly, but it slowly died as Demetri just continued to stare silently at him.

Time to change the subject, Ariel guessed. He flipped through the thick pages. As he did so, clouds of dust were kicked into the air in dancing swirls. 

“I think--pbbthh!” Ariel was interrupted by the dust getting into his mouth.

This really was an old book. What was Demetri doing with something like this?

“I think I found your problem.” He held the book back out to his roommate, no longer wanting anything to do with the curious text.

Demetri paused mid-reach as he went to collect his reading back. Ariel quirked an eyebrow, at first wondering why he was hesitating. Then it became abundantly clear that his poor roommate was struggling with another rising sneeze. One slender hand brought the already well-used handkerchief to Demetri’s nose and the other attempted to clamp onto the book through his build-up.

“Hh...Heh…” Silver curls bounced with each audible hitch.

Ariel kept hold on to his end of the book so Demetri didn’t drop it. In fact, his grip seemed to tighten in anticipation of the oncoming sneeze fit. 

“Hh…h- H’TSCHH! Hh...ipSHU! HrrSCHOO! Ah…Hah’shi!”

As expected, Demetri let go of his end of the book and desperately cupped both hands over his nose and mouth. He hardly had time to breathe between the strong, wet sneezes. And that wasn’t the end of it.

TSCH! ...h’TCHH!”

He was attempting to stifle the oncoming sneezes now, desperately trying to subdue them. After a brief break of panting and sniffling, Demetri finished with one last tired “...haptsch!”

Ariel was starting to feel bad now.

“Okay, okay, okay,” he attempted to lift the suffering bean pole to his feet and shepherd him into the kitchen, “...leave the book behind. Come here. Come sit in the kitchen with me.”
 

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Quell

I'm very intrigued by your OCs (& the drawings are super cute) and wherever this might be going, so I'll definitely be keeping an eye out for future updates. :)

Quote

But who knew, maybe Demetri was just one of those guys who liked buying things that were brand new but just looked antique... like pre-ripped jeans or those ridiculous glasses with giant frames. 

Ariel pushed up his ridiculous glasses with giant frames

oh no I'm giggling

Quote

Große Heidelberger Liederhandschrift.

Well, that's interesting—this and the earlier mention of black blood make me very curious about Demetri indeed.

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EvaBloom

 Ok, can I say that I LOVE this story so much and it only has two parts? ❤️ The characters have a really cool design that catches the eye, and Ariel looks so cute with those big glasses! 

 Also, I'm rather curious, I want to know why Demetri is sneezing so much, maybe allergies? An illness? Omg, I need to know :drool:

 Your writing is also great. These two guys are interesting... I hope to see more!

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caramelfuzz

Oh my goodness I'm very interested in this!!!! Demetri sounds like a cutie! I can't wait for the next part :D

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Yuurei

Another update! I'm having a lot of fun writing this, even if I don't exactly know where it's going....lol

I have a lot of trouble switching up my wording (as in, using names or just pronouns when referring to a character, especially since both characters are male) so I'm sorry if it sounds repetitive!

--------

Demetri didn’t entirely understand why Ariel sought after his companionship so suddenly, though he suspected it had something to do with his troublesome sneezing fit. What was the big deal was about a few nasal expulsions anyway? One sneeze and people were all over him.

God bless you!

Are you okay?

Do you feel alright?

Hope you aren’t catching a cold!


That being said, the previous two or three sneezes had left him a bit teary-eyed and breathless. Such is the price of having a body, he supposed. 

It really was amazing what the human body could and could not handle. There was an amazing story of a surgeon who performed surgery on himself, removing his own appendix and returning to his regular duties within two weeks! Imagine! And this wasn’t even the only instance a human being had performed surgery on their own person. Incredible! Meanwhile, Demetri was here, only breathing through one nostril and feeling ready for a nap.

The cheap plastic chair creaked as Demetri did what he was told and sat across from Ariel at the circular table. He didn’t like this table very much. It was the perfectly wrong height; not short enough to hit his knees but not tall enough to give his long legs any space. One misjudged movement and he’d bump the underside of the table, rattling anything that happened to rest atop it’s wooden surface. He decided to play it safe and sit sideways in his chair, resting one elbow on the table. 

There wasn’t much to do in the small kitchen. Demetri wished he could have brought his book in to read. However, he had never seen Ariel brew before, and was a bit curious to watch his roommate in action. Usually he tried to stay out of the kitchen and out of the way. Brewing was an art that seemed to take immense concentration.

Ariel stood over the sink and began once again carefully pouring absinthe into a measuring spoon. Demetri felt that seemed more appropriate for a cocktail than a brew, but he wasn’t about to say anything. He looked at the other ingredients strewn across from him. Buttercups, some kind of powder, pink salt, snake venom… what kind of elixir was this supposed to be?

“F*CK this!”

Demetri jumped at the sudden outburst from the young sorcerer, who seemed to have fumbled with the bottle and dropped it in the sink. Ariel turned and looked at him with aggravation written all over his boyish face.

“You got any wormwood oil?” He inquired.

Demetri sniffled and shook his head. He wasn’t entirely sure what wormwood oil was or what it’s purpose was.

“This STUPID elixir requires wormwood oil, which we were NEVER told to buy.”

“Which elixir?” He finally piped up.

“The, uh…” Ariel paused and glanced at his textbook, “...oh my god.”

Demetri tilted his head in curiosity.

“I’ve been looking at the wrong page this whole time.”

Thus was the start of Ariel’s dramatic monologue/tantrum, which gave the itch in Demetri’s nose plenty of time to blossom to a full blown tickle he couldn’t ignore. 

Ariel, you stupid idiot!” Ariel barked at Ariel.

Demetri really didn’t want to sneeze, but he could tell he was going to. Even pinching his nose shut with his handkerchief wasn’t doing much but prolonging the inevitable.


“...You really think you can become a master when you can’t even turn to the right page?” Ariel was now hitting himself on the head.


He wiggled his nose as the tickle came back stronger now. His pink lips parted, snuck in a pre-sneeze expression.


“...And who thinks absinthe is a good substitute for wormwood oil?


Now came the rise and fall of his chest as he started taking in shaky breaths. He placed the back of his hand under his nose, doing whatever it took to hold back the building sneeze. 


“...You didn’t even need wormwood oil!

Unfortunately, this just caused him to take a large involuntary breath as the sneeze forced its way forward in an explosive release.

“...z’TSCHH!” 

A silence fell in the kitchen. Demetri froze in his position, hand still against his face.

Maybe Ariel hadn’t noticed?
 

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Watercolor Daydreams

!!!!!!!!!

I love this so much!!!!!!!!!

On 9/25/2018 at 9:13 AM, Yuurei said:

Was this… a conversation? Could it be called communication? Before Ariel could say anything more, Demetri’s stoic face began to twist with tickly irritation again. His mouth opened slightly as he took in hitched breaths. Ariel tilted his head, eyes drawn to the slight flare of Demetri’s nostrils. He found something kind of captivating about seeing his statuesque roommate in this state. The handkerchief made its way back over Demetri's nose and mouth as he released a rough “Hah-TSCHH!

Ugh. I love, love, love the trope of typically rigid people losing control when they sneeze. :wub:

On 9/26/2018 at 3:41 AM, Yuurei said:

Demetri paused mid-reach as he went to collect his reading back. Ariel quirked an eyebrow, at first wondering why he was hesitating. Then it became abundantly clear that his poor roommate was struggling with another rising sneeze. One slender hand brought the already well-used handkerchief to Demetri’s nose and the other attempted to clamp onto the book through his build-up.

“Hh...Heh…” Silver curls bounced with each audible hitch.

Ariel kept hold on to his end of the book so Demetri didn’t drop it. In fact, his grip seemed to tighten in anticipation of the oncoming sneeze fit. 

“Hh…h- H’TSCHH! Hh...ipSHU! HrrSCHOO! Ah…Hah’shi!”

As expected, Demetri let go of his end of the book and desperately cupped both hands over his nose and mouth. He hardly had time to breathe between the strong, wet sneezes. And that wasn’t the end of it.

TSCH! ...h’TCHH!”

He was attempting to stifle the oncoming sneezes now, desperately trying to subdue them. After a brief break of panting and sniffling, Demetri finished with one last tired “...haptsch!”

Dead. This is amazing.

On 9/28/2018 at 7:56 AM, Yuurei said:

Thus was the start of Ariel’s dramatic monologue/tantrum, which gave the itch in Demetri’s nose plenty of time to blossom to a full blown tickle he couldn’t ignore. 

Ariel, you stupid idiot!” Ariel barked at Ariel.

Demetri really didn’t want to sneeze, but he could tell he was going to. Even pinching his nose shut with his handkerchief wasn’t doing much but prolonging the inevitable.


“...You really think you can become a master when you can’t even turn to the right page?” Ariel was now hitting himself on the head.


He wiggled his nose as the tickle came back stronger now. His pink lips parted, snuck in a pre-sneeze expression.


“...And who thinks absinthe is a good substitute for wormwood oil?


Now came the rise and fall of his chest as he started taking in shaky breaths. He placed the back of his hand under his nose, doing whatever it took to hold back the building sneeze. 


“...You didn’t even need wormwood oil!

Unfortunately, this just caused him to take a large involuntary breath as the sneeze forced its way forward in an explosive release.

“...z’TSCHH!” 

This entire buildup gave me butterflies. agh :tongue:

On 9/28/2018 at 7:56 AM, Yuurei said:

Demetri didn’t entirely understand why Ariel sought after his companionship so suddenly, though he suspected it had something to do with his troublesome sneezing fit. What was the big deal was about a few nasal expulsions anyway? One sneeze and people were all over him.

God bless you!

Are you okay?

Do you feel alright?

Hope you aren’t catching a cold!

YES

Please continue this!!! These characters are so endearing, and I'm excited for the rest of it (if there's more)

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Bungee

really great really good so far keep it up! Im curios about what exactly demetri is.  

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bcj1027

AHHHHHHH Yuurei everything you make is so great! Can’t wait to read more!

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Yuurei

Thank you all for the support! I had hit some writer's block, but I'm back with a little update! Please excuse any errors, I'm falling asleep and didn't proofread. 😅

By the way, I drew a recent picture of Demetri for you all. You can find it here: https://www.sneezefetishforum.org/topic/74424-demetri-sketches-m-oc/

Critiques are always appreciated! I'm new to writing.

--------

Who is Demetri Marah? 

This is what Ariel asked when he first received the response to his listserv post looking for a roommate. Several months after the fact, and he didn’t feel he was any closer to an answer. This was what he did know:

One. Demetri was concentrating in divination. Ariel knew this because he had asked around about the mysterious figure before making the decision to live with him. A classmate claimed Demetri was in her “History of Runes” class. He apparently never showed up to class with anything, not even a pencil, and sat in the very back. She never heard him say a word, even if he was called on by the professor. All in all, he could be summed up as “uncomfortable but non-threatening”. 

Two. Demetri played the cello. In previous years he could be seen playing on the campus green, but perhaps he no longer did that. He didn’t bring a cello with him when he moved into the apartment.

Three. Demetri really liked fridge magnets. Their refrigerator door was currently covered in them, each one tackier than the last. It seemed every week Demetri added another one to his growing collection on the metal door. Ariel found it overwhelming, but it seemed to make Demetri happy.

Four. He didn’t have a single blemish. While one would think that wouldn’t be a noticeable trait (who would notice that someone didn’t  have a zit?), in Demetri’s case it was on a level that reached uncanny. His pale skin was unnaturally smooth like porcelain. There wasn’t a single freckle, bump, or pore visible, as if someone had taken an airbrush to his skin. If something did mar his perfect exterior, it didn’t seem to last long. Ariel paid attention to the cut on Demetri’s finger that night. He saw how it bled black like oil in that moment. He watched Demetri wash it and put a band-aid on it before returning to preparing his meal. After dinner, Demetri retreated to his room for about an hour while Ariel studied in the living area. When he reappeared, there was no band-aid and no cut.

Five. He could read German?

Lastly, Demetri was apparently susceptible to the effects of ground fluworm, an easy to come by powder that dissolves in most any liquid. Anyone who consumes it will develop flu-like symptoms within a few hours. It’s so simple, even a sorcerer who tries to use absinthe as a wormwood oil substitute could do it!

Ariel stared at the sniffling Demetri in thought. Though the man was as in denial about being ill as his hair was curly, he was clearly feeling worse by the minute. The parts of his face that weren’t hidden behind his silver ringlets flushed pink with fever. There went Ariel’s theory about Demetri being a demon of some sort; fluworm powder doesn’t affect the supernatural. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that was sort of a stupid theory to begin with. What kind of demon just attends academia and buys fridge magnets? On top of that, Demetri didn’t seem to have any history of wickedness based on the anecdotes he heard. Crap, now he was starting to feel guilty for what he did. Dammit.

“Hey, uh…” Ariel cleared his throat.

Demetri didn’t seem to acknowledge him, but it was always a little hard to tell with him.

“...how about some tea? Just tea. Not, like, elixirs or anything. No wormwood oil,” Ariel stuttered, “...maybe just some honey, if you like that?”

Demetri tiredly raised his head in Ariel’s direction. He nodded.
 

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EvaBloom
8 hours ago, Yuurei said:

Lastly, Demetri was apparently susceptible to the effects of ground fluworm, an easy to come by powder that dissolves in most any liquid. Anyone who consumes it will develop flu-like symptoms within a few hours

Interesting, very interesting indeed :drool:

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MzMental

Oh I love the twist that Ariel made him sick!!! I'm excited to see how this plays out. I hope Demetri finds out, what an interesting conversation that will be! 

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caramelfuzz

Oh my goodness this is so good!!! I can't wait to see more of Demetri!! 

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Reaper

Finally caught up with the chapters! I love Demitri. He’s so precious!

So Demitri was given the flu oil as a test to see if he was supernatural, right? Clever

Edited by Reaper

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Bisexualien1996

Demitri is small and precious. He needs to be protected and taken good care of by Ariel.

Also, I saw the awesome pictures of both your characters, I love the character designs, they're so unique.

Edited by Bisexualien1996

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Yuurei
On 10/16/2018 at 5:04 AM, Bisexualien1996 said:

Demitri is small and precious. He needs to be protected and taken good care of by Ariel.

Also, I saw the awesome pictures of both your characters, I love the character designs, they're so unique.

Ah, thank you so much! I'm so glad you like them!

Here's a small update:

----------

Slender fingers wrapped around the mug, Demetri let the warmth of the hot tea seep into his hands. His head was feeling foggy now as he found himself staring into it. It took him a moment to realize Ariel was trying to get his attention.

“...Demetri. Hey.”

Snapping back to reality, he turned towards his roommate.

“What was that book you were reading? The German one.”

Demetri gently set his mug down and left the table to retrieve the book still lying on the couch. When he returned, he set the book on the table so that the title faced Ariel, who then attempted to read it.

“Gro...Grobe Heidel..ber…”

    “...Große Heidelberger Liederhandschrift.” Demetri corrected.

Ariel stared up at him blankly with is golden eyes.

“...poetry.” 

Demetri lowered himself back into his seat. He wasn’t in the mood to talk, quite honestly. Normally he loved the company of other people, but at this moment he was lethargic and experiencing a chill throughout his entire body. In fact, ever since Ariel started inquiring about his health he had been feeling steadily worse.

“Can you read one? It doesn’t have to be long.” 

Slender fingers now paging gently through the delicate pages, Demetri began to wonder why he was entertaining this request. It felt as though there were a pinecone living in his throat-- at least, that’s what he imagined it would feel like were it possible. He cleared his throat to the best of his ability and began slowly.

“Unde swenne ich gescheide von dan, so ist mir al min gewalt unt min richtuom dàhin... ” It wasn’t often someone heard Demetri speak more than three words in a row. His voice was fairly deep in contrast to his slender, pretty features. He enunciated clearly, but his voice was gentle, each word flowing delicately from his lips.

“...wan senden kumber den ze…” His voice trailed off. The tickle was back. Demetri swallowed thickly, determined to power through it, but he couldn’t hold out long.

“...den zelle ich m-mirrRSCH!” Quickly, he turned away and sneezed into his elbow. The itch wasn’t completely gone, however, and his breath began hitching as another sneeze built.

“Hh’tschu!”

The last sneeze sent a shiver down through Demetri’s body that covered his pale skin in goosebumps. He sniffled, hopelessly rubbing at his stuffy pink nose. His eyes were too watery now to read the poem before him. 

Ariel got up from where he sat and approached his sickly roommate slowly. He ever so gently slipped his hand under the curly fringe to feel Demetri’s forehead. Ariel’s cold fingers against Demetri’s hot forehead seemed to send another shiver through him.

“You’re burning up. I really think you should get some rest.”

Eyes squeezed shut, Demetri shook his head and pulled away from his touch. He stood up in defiance, and retreated to the shared bathroom.

In the bathroom, Demetri splashed water on his face with shaking hands. With a full blown fever, he couldn’t stop himself from shivering now. He parted the curls covering his face to observe himself in the mirror. His face was pallid and dark circles surrounded his eyes. He couldn’t possibly be ill. He had never had the flu before. Swine flu, Avian flu, Spanish flu, Asiatic flu-- he’d evaded them all. He was almost certain he could never contract such a virus. Little did he know this wasn’t the work of a virus, but a certain pink-haired sorcerer. 

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MzMental

So glad we got an update! I can't wait to see how Demetri handles being sick.and Ariel seems so guilty!!! Im surprised Demetri hasn't picked up on it yet. 

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caramelfuzz

Oh my gosh!!!! He tried to keep reading through the sneeze!!!! This is wonderful and I love it!

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EvaBloom

I'm in love with this, it's so good! And I'm seriously starting to like Demetri a lot more :thumbup:

 Please don't stop writing it!

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AngelEyes

The plot thickens...

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